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In March 2020, I found myself retreating from the outside world with a barely noticeable baby bump. At that time, I had just shared my pregnancy news with a few colleagues and hadn’t even told all my friends. Fast forward to over a year later, and I’m stepping back into society with my 11-month-old.
The experience of becoming a mother is a whirlwind of new experiences and noise, often accompanied by feelings of repetition and isolation. While this is likely true for many new moms, for those of us who became mothers during the pandemic, the sense of isolation was profound. My bump went unadmired, few got to meet my newborn, and hardly anyone witnessed my transition into motherhood. We missed out on the typical shared experiences that often accompany this life change.
“When I was pregnant, I almost wished for the moment when a stranger would come up and rub my belly in a grocery store,” recalls Jenna, a member of my new moms group. “But without those shared initiation moments, I found myself wondering how I would fit into the mom community.”
Despite this, many friends with older children have warned me about the judgment, unsolicited advice, and opinions that often accompany motherhood. I tried to mentally prepare myself for this, but I realized that, in my case, I was largely spared from such scrutiny. My journey into motherhood unfolded in a protective bubble—there were no strangers to critique my parenting choices, no unsolicited advice, and certainly no one to comment on my breastfeeding in public. The advice I did receive was requested, and while the moms in my group saw me through Zoom calls and socially-distanced meetups, I felt only support, not judgment.
Sure, it was lonely, but it was also entirely on my own terms. We faced fewer decisions, from figuring out travel logistics to navigating playgroups. I didn’t have to worry about managing visitors, which, as an introvert, used to overwhelm me.
Instead, I cherished endless moments with my newborn, free from distractions. I had the opportunity to truly connect with her during those early months. There was no rush to start the day, and my husband, even when working from home, was only a room away, ready to share those precious moments with us. As we witnessed her milestones—like crawling, sitting up, and clapping—my focus was entirely on my little family unit.
However, as the pandemic eases, so does the simplicity of that bubble. Now, despite having endured sleepless nights, teething, and the chaos of early parenting, I feel a newfound anxiety about parenting in public.
“There are so many little things to learn all at once,” says Lily, whose baby is just a month older than mine. “I recently took my daughter to a restaurant, and I had to navigate changing her on a bathroom table. If it weren’t for the pandemic, we would have learned these things gradually, but now it feels overwhelming.”
I’ve also felt shy about parenting in front of others. Just recently, my family enjoyed ice cream together for the first time, and as I engaged with my daughter, I realized that few people had witnessed my interactions with her. I found myself wondering, “Do I look like a mom? Am I doing well?”
“I’ve come to see this as a late-onset imposter syndrome,” Jenna explains. “For so long, I’ve been doing things my way without scrutiny. Now, as I step back into the world, I’m second-guessing my choices. Am I doing this right?”
There’s also a bittersweet element to leaving this bubble behind. It signifies my daughter’s growth and change. After 11 months of having a front-row seat to her development, I’m now facing the reality of sending her to daycare, a bittersweet transition I’ve been dreading.
“The pandemic has had its downsides, but we’ve been fortunate to spend so much time with our little ones,” says Lily. “Now that we’ve experienced that, it’s going to be tough to let it go.”
This weekend, we’re preparing for our first family plane ride to visit relatives in Boston, with more travels planned afterward. While I’m embarking on these adventures later than anticipated, I appreciate the joy of having spent this time at a slower pace with my daughter before re-entering the busier world.
For more insights on navigating motherhood, check out this resource on family-building options or learn about home insemination kits. If you’re interested in more related content, you can explore this blog post.
Summary:
The transition to motherhood during the pandemic has been both isolating and intimate. New moms like myself have navigated this journey without the typical social interactions, leading to a mix of confidence and newfound anxiety as we prepare to engage with the world. As we step back into public life, the lessons learned in isolation will shape our experiences moving forward.
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