I firmly believe that everything happens for a reason. Some might say I was destined to be a mom, and honestly, I wouldn’t want any other role. I’ve never aspired to climb the corporate ladder or be in the medical field; my dreams revolved around changing diapers, making bottles, and drawing pictures with my children. My heart swells with gratitude for my kids every day, yet I have to admit, I don’t want to be a mom every single day. And that’s perfectly fine.
Like many mothers, I have my moments of overwhelm. There have been times when I’ve locked myself in the bathroom, tears streaming down my face, needing just a moment of solitude. I’ve met my husband at the door, car keys in hand, ready to escape the chaos. There are mornings I contemplate faking illness just to avoid the breakfast mess that inevitably follows. Motherhood is undeniably challenging and not for the faint-hearted.
Upon reaching my forties, I found myself a stay-at-home mom to four children. While raising them was always my ultimate goal, the daily exhaustion took me by surprise. In my previous job, I could leave work behind at the end of the day. But as a mom, there’s no clocking out; you’re on call 24/7. Whether you work outside the home or not, the responsibility of being a mom never goes away. If your child falls ill at daycare, you’re the one who has to take charge. It can be incredibly draining.
Becoming a mother often means losing a piece of your former self. You may wish to maintain your individuality, but the moment you gaze into your baby’s eyes—be it during birth or through adoption—you transform. That selfishness fades, replaced by a desire to give unconditionally. Unfortunately, self-care can quickly fall by the wayside.
It’s important to remember that wanting a break doesn’t make you a bad mom. It makes you human. We all hit that wall eventually, and it can look messy. I dislike the fact that my kids can bring me to tears when they don’t listen. I find it frustrating when I can’t even write a simple note without being interrupted. Yelling at kids isn’t admirable, but it’s common. We can’t be perfect all the time, especially when kids know exactly how to push our buttons.
So, what should you do when you crave a day away from motherhood? Taking a break is essential. It doesn’t require a luxurious getaway; it can be as simple as serving cereal for dinner or enjoying a long shower. Sometimes, it’s okay to let your kids watch TV while you take a breather. I’ve even spent days lounging in my pajamas. If you don’t carve out time for yourself, things can spiral out of control.
A valuable tip is to view social media through a critical lens. Even what I share can be misleading. Those perfect family photos often come after numerous attempts, and vacations are frequently filled with fights and tears. Remember, you’re only seeing the highlights.
Feeling overwhelmed with motherhood isn’t uncommon. Just ensure you find your way back. Seeking professional help, like talking to a counselor, can be incredibly beneficial. They can’t fix your home life, but they can provide you with tools to cope and support yourself. Each day is a new opportunity, and you need to remind yourself that you’re a good mom—you just need breaks like everyone else. Your kids adore you just as you are, wanting your love and support.
We can’t always be our best selves. There will be days, weeks, even months, when things go awry. I know I’ll face moments when I want to throw in the towel—not just on parenting but on myself. There are days I question my abilities as a mom. My kids may not be perfect, but neither am I, and that’s perfectly okay. Remember to extend grace to yourself and your family.
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Summary:
Motherhood is a rewarding yet challenging journey that can leave many mothers feeling overwhelmed. It’s essential to recognize that wanting a break doesn’t equate to being a bad mom. Taking time for self-care is necessary for maintaining balance and well-being. Embrace the fact that you’re not alone in feeling this way, and remember to extend grace to yourself and your family.
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