Most of us have that one friend who has been there through thick and thin. For me, it’s a friend who stood by my side during my awkward childhood years. She recently relocated from New York City to London, promising to visit each summer. However, the pandemic disrupted those plans, and she missed her chance to come back home.
This summer, thanks to vaccines, she was finally able to visit. Time flew by, and with only a few days left, we had barely spent any time together. I was caught up in my own whirlwind of life changes after losing my husband three years ago. We both understood that life had been hectic for us.
When she suggested we meet up on Wednesday, I immediately felt a wave of anxiety wash over me. My instinct was to decline, despite desperately wanting to reconnect. In the past, I might have fabricated an excuse, but I knew she would see right through it. After a moment, I told her I would think it over.
Anxiety often pushes me to say “no,” and since becoming a young widow, that instinct has only intensified. I’ve learned that stepping outside my comfort zone can be daunting, but I also realized the importance of not letting fear dictate my life choices.
After contemplating my initial reaction, I recognized that if I didn’t take the opportunity to see her now, it could be another year before we connected. Regret is something I’ve come to understand all too well, and I didn’t want to face it again.
I addressed each of my concerns. Transportation was one hurdle; usually, I take public transit, but I’d need to drive this time. Driving in New York City can be intimidating, but I reminded myself I’ve navigated it before. Then there was the issue of traffic, which I could manage by timing my departure. Parking was another source of anxiety, but I could allow myself a little splurge for a day that was long overdue.
Finally, I confronted my biggest worry: the city feels unfamiliar and outside my safe zone. Yet, I realized that even in my comfort zone, life is unpredictable.
Ultimately, I asked myself if I would regret saying “no.” The answer was clear. I called my friend and agreed to meet.
The journey wasn’t without its bumps. A sudden rainstorm slowed my progress, but I persevered. Despite the challenges, I had a wonderful day filled with laughter, a delicious lunch, and meaningful conversation. I left feeling uplifted and recharged.
While one positive experience won’t erase my anxiety, it reminded me that I can choose “yes” even when my mind says “no.” And for what it’s worth, my dog enjoyed the extra attention when I got home.
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