Trigger warning: disordered eating, anorexia, fatphobia
Let’s get real: I’ve experienced both ends of the spectrum when it comes to body size. Once, I was clinically obese, and then I spiraled into anorexia, ultimately appearing classically thin. Shopping for a size 2X and then for a size 2 were both challenging experiences in their own rights. I’ve seen rolls and I’ve seen ribs. I’ve enjoyed hiking up a mountain comfortably when I was heavier, yet also cried in frustration when I couldn’t do the same while being smaller. This journey proves that body size does not determine capability (take that, ableist attitudes).
And trust me, I know about body shaming firsthand. I’ve been criticized for my weight at both ends. However, as I lost weight, I recognized a critical distinction between fat shaming and skinny shaming.
Skinny Shaming vs. Fat Shaming
People often comment on my weight, joking that I weigh about as much as my large German Shepherd. I’ve been told to “eat more” and that I “looked gaunt.” When I casually mentioned regaining weight after being ill, my family shot me disapproving looks, reminding me that my young nephew outweighs me. This experience of skinny shaming can feel uncomfortable, but it’s fleeting.
When I now shop at Target, clerks smile, and I receive attention from strangers. Medical professionals are attentive when I express fatigue, checking my iron and thyroid levels. No one raises an eyebrow when I order dessert—after all, I clearly need the calories.
In stark contrast, when I was heavier, smiles were non-existent. If you haven’t been fat, it’s hard to grasp the relentless humiliation society imposes on those who are. Walking through a crowded street as a larger person felt like being invisible; people wouldn’t meet my gaze or would quickly look away. Doors seemed to hit me in the face, and doctors attributed every ailment to my weight. Tired? Obviously, it’s because I’m fat. Depressed? Of course, I must be, since I’m overweight. Enjoying dessert? Prepare for judgment from the onlookers.
This is the privilege I experience now as a smaller person. Society deems me more deserving of kindness and care. While skinny shaming stings, it pales in comparison to the outright ostracism I faced when I was fat.
The Realities of Body Shaming
Let me be clear: fat shaming is a serious issue. Nobody should feel discomfort in their own skin, nor should anyone be subjected to negative comments about their body. For those who are thin, there are appropriate ways to respond to fat shaming—like showing empathy and affirming the worth of every body.
However, it’s not okay to equate skinny shaming with fat shaming. While both are forms of body shaming, the societal implications are vastly different. Society often elevates thin bodies while relegating larger ones to a secondary status. Thin individuals often embody societal ideals, while fat people face ridicule and marginalization.
When someone says, “You’re too skinny,” it may sting, but when someone tells a fat person, “You’re too fat,” it often carries a much heavier weight.
Conclusion
All forms of body shaming are unjust, but we must acknowledge that they are not the same. Complaining about being skinny shamed is valid, but it shouldn’t overshadow discussions about fat shaming, which carries a far greater societal burden.
If you want to delve deeper into the topic of body image, check out this insightful blog post that explores similar themes. Additionally, if you’re interested in improving fertility, consider visiting Make a Mom’s website for valuable resources. For more information on pregnancy and home insemination, Cleveland Clinic offers an excellent guide.
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