Many parents are candidly sharing their secrets to a good night’s sleep: separate bedrooms.
We’ve all had those nights where our partner’s snoring, sheet hogging, or simply taking up too much space has us contemplating escape. It’s your bed, and the guilt of leaving can be overwhelming (or maybe you’re just feeling stubborn). However, these parents are unapologetically embracing the separate bedroom lifestyle because whatever works for them, works! No need for apologies.
For others, though, the reality of sleeping apart can be heartbreaking.
“He still calls me his girlfriend, but I don’t refer to him as my boyfriend. He’s just the guy I live with. In order to have a relationship, you need to actually have one. We spend our nights in separate rooms, and I’ve been on the couch for over two years.”
— Confessional #25834690
“My husband told me he’s leaving and doesn’t want to be with me anymore. We still share a home but sleep apart. Occasionally, we’ll have a moment of intimacy, which is confusing but exciting!”
— Confessional #25831486
“After the kids are in bed, my husband and I watch TV for an hour, barely talk, and then retreat to our separate rooms. I’m not sure how much longer I can keep this up.”
— Confessional #25816079
“My husband and I have no intimacy yet manage to enjoy family activities and binge-watch shows together. But then we go back to our own rooms, and I wonder how long this can last without addressing our issues.”
— Confessional #25812941
The reality is that king-sized beds were invented for a reason! “My husband is 6’5” and built like a linebacker, and sharing a queen-sized bed felt cramped. During my first pregnancy, I spent months in a separate bedroom because I was always hot at night. For my second pregnancy, we invested in a king-sized bed and it’s been pure bliss ever since.”
“My husband is a great guy, but I’m not in love with him. We sleep in separate rooms every night, and I feel a sense of relief when I close the door.”
— Confessional #25803519
“I have a serious sleep disorder, but my friend doesn’t understand why we sleep apart. I still have intimacy with my husband, while she hasn’t been intimate with hers in a year.”
— Confessional #25797437
“Today is our wedding anniversary. We exchanged cards but haven’t kissed, and now we’re both in separate rooms. This isn’t how I pictured my life would be.”
— Confessional #25796897
“I’ve been sleeping in another room due to my husband’s snoring. Honestly, I like it more than I expected, but I can’t say that out loud.”
— Confessional #25764224
If you’re in a heterosexual relationship, admit it—how many times have you wished for your own space? Not because you dislike your spouse, but because you long for a mess-free zone filled with your favorite things. “My husband’s snoring disturbed me for 25 years, so I finally started sleeping in a separate room. Now, when he wants to come cuddle, it feels like an invasion of my space.”
— Confessional #25763538
“Visiting the in-laws for the first time in a decade will be tough since we sleep in separate rooms at home. I can’t imagine sharing a bed without my usual sleep.”
— Confessional #25751721
“I started sleeping in the spare room soon after getting married because I need complete darkness to sleep, and the light from his clock was disruptive. I truly believe that our separate rooms have kept us together for 26 years with kids.”
— Confessional #24872190
“My husband has been sick, so I’ve been in the guest room. Now that I’m back in our room, I miss the guest room. His snoring is unbearable. Is it wrong to want separate rooms just for sleep?”
— Confessional #24866563
It seems like many of these husbands might benefit from a sleep apnea study! The truth is, separate bedrooms have saved some marriages. “His snoring doesn’t wake me up anymore, and my attempts to nudge him back to sleep don’t disturb him either. A good night’s sleep leads to a happier couple!”
— Confessional #17206138
“My severe sleep disorder necessitates that my husband and I sleep apart. There’s nothing wrong with our marriage, and yes, we’re still intimate!”
— Confessional #16209397
“My husband thinks we sleep in separate rooms because I co-sleep with our 6-month-old. The truth is, I can’t stand him!”
— Confessional #516792231
“My partner and I sleep in different rooms because I can’t handle his snoring. If he lost some weight, I bet it would help. I just wish his bed was more comfortable, especially if we have another baby!”
— Confessional #2783867
“My husband and I began sleeping in separate rooms to take turns with the baby. I wish I could have my own bed permanently. I love him, but I also love having my personal space.”
— Confessional #1764496
Ultimately, do what works for you! There’s absolutely nothing wrong with wanting your own space. And if separate rooms aren’t cutting it, it’s time to reassess what will make your relationship thrive.
Also? Fellas, the snoring—come on, guys!
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Summary
Many couples are embracing separate bedrooms for a variety of reasons ranging from snoring to intimacy issues. While some find relief and better sleep, others face emotional challenges. Ultimately, the key is to find what works for each individual relationship.
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