We're in the Era of Parenting Vigilantism - intracervicalinseminationsyringe

In today’s world, there are numerous accounts of children dialing emergency services on their parents for seemingly trivial reasons, though these reasons are very real to them. Take, for instance, the nine-year-old from Ontario who called 911 because her parents asked her to tidy her room. Or consider the preteen who made not one, but two emergency calls after being served salad for dinner, as reported by the New York Post. One of the most amusing anecdotes I’ve encountered was shared by a college professor in class: his daughter had her heart set on a Smurf piñata for her birthday party, and when she didn’t get one, well, you can imagine how that went.

Despite my sons never revealing my secrets, I find a certain humor in the image of a defiant child threatening to call the police to get their way. I can picture the parents rolling their eyes, muttering “go ahead” (they’ve likely dealt with such ultimatums before), only to be taken aback when a police officer knocks at their door.

While parents in these scenarios may not initially find the humor (the parents of the salad-loving kid were reportedly “not impressed”), these stories do make for entertaining anecdotes at college graduation parties and wedding toasts.

But when we flip the script and replace the “huffy kid” with an indignant adult who feels compelled to police other parents’ choices, the narrative changes dramatically. This phenomenon is referred to as “parenting vigilantism,” a term coined by Sarah Mahoney in her work Fear, Parenting, and Today’s Vigilante Culture. Numerous examples abound.

Real-Life Examples of Parenting Vigilantism

Kara Smith, who detailed her experience in a blog and later in an op-ed for the Chicago Tribune, recounted a situation where her six-year-old was playing outside (visible to her from the window) when a neighbor walked him home, cautioning her that it was “unsafe” for her son to be outdoors alone. This led to a visit from the police and a referral to Child Protective Services (CPS).

In another case, a couple allowed their six- and ten-year-old children to walk home from a nearby park and soon found themselves facing a similar investigation by CPS after someone reported the children were unsupervised.

The tales continue: an eight-year-old is seen walking her dog alone, prompting a police call and a CPS investigation; another eight-year-old misses the school bus and walks to school, resulting in the mother facing charges of risk to a child. A nine-year-old playing in a park while her mother works at McDonald’s leads to charges of unlawful neglect against the mother.

Reflecting on Changes in Parenting Norms

What’s changed since my childhood, when I often walked to and from kindergarten alone, crossing busy streets with a crossing guard? I recall being escorted home by police once during a snowstorm in second grade, only to be surprised by a birthday party my mother had planned. Would such an event today lead to my mother facing legal consequences?

In the free-range ’80s, we were often pushed out the door to “go play,” and we’d ride our bikes across town, sometimes even before our parents were awake. Why didn’t anyone report our parents back then? Why didn’t I face intervention when I went to the local store alone? Was it that adults back then cared less about children’s safety? Did they consider us more expendable?

It’s hard to believe that today’s adults genuinely care more about children’s safety than those of previous generations. The “better safe than sorry” argument often surfaces, but is the motivation to report unsupervised children genuinely about safety?

Dr. Barbara W. Sarnecka, a cognitive scientist at UC Irvine, argues that it’s not about safety—it’s about enforcing social norms. Many feel compelled to voice their judgments, often leading to a self-appointed role as parenting monitors. If a parent’s actions don’t align with their definitions of good parenting, these vigilantists feel justified in taking action, even if it means calling law enforcement.

The Question of Independence

I often wonder at what age children should be expected to navigate their surroundings independently. When does a child become too young to take a stroll without adult supervision? The lines are blurry, and the criteria for what constitutes neglect seem inconsistent.

Ultimately, it’s not our place to dictate how others should parent. Yet, in 2021, it seems many are making it their business, and if they can’t intervene directly, they feel compelled to call the authorities.

Search Queries:

In summary, today’s society has developed a vigilantism culture regarding parenting, where individuals feel entitled to intervene in others’ parenting choices. This shift raises questions about safety, social norms, and the expectations placed on children and their parents.