40 Insights Gained Over 40 Years

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Life is an exceptional instructor. Through my four decades of existence, I’ve faced numerous challenges that have tested my beliefs and perceptions, ultimately leading to profound lessons. From dealing with the heartache of losing a parent and advocating for the well-being of my other parent, to navigating the complexities of early menopause at 38 and a midlife crisis shortly thereafter, my experiences have shaped my understanding of the world. I’ve also encountered lighter, yet equally important, lessons about daily living—such as the social implications of eating prunes in public or whether it’s wise to wear makeup to bed.

Here are 40 observations that encapsulate the wisdom I’ve gathered over the years:

1. The true art of swearing often emerges during menopause.
2. Pigs can fly—if you’ve never been on a plane.
3. Always ensure there’s toilet paper before taking a seat.
4. Avoid wearing eyeliner while you sleep.
5. Cabotage refers to a country’s control over its airspace, not sabotaging with cabbage.
6. A woman will forever hope for a birthday celebration, even at 41!
7. It’s unwise to let your thoughts become a source of terror.
8. Hide spare change where your partner cannot locate it.
9. Ice cream cannot compare to love, nor can chocolate to sex.
10. Never inform your best friend that her diet isn’t working.
11. Sneezing while eating crackers can lead to a mess.
12. While not everyone has a photographic memory, many own iPhones.
13. Some mysteries are best left unsolved.
14. Mathematics can define humanity, especially online.
15. Honesty simplifies life—there’s no need to second-guess your words.
16. Some days, you’re the bug; other days, you’re the windshield.
17. Spontaneity isn’t always the best approach.
18. Stay clear of prunes.
19. Don’t let your life serve as a cautionary tale for others.
20. Some individuals have certainly won the genetic lottery.
21. Depression is more than just a lack of enthusiasm.
22. Always wear appropriate underwear with white shorts.
23. We dedicate one-seventh of our lives to Mondays.
24. Only plant pumpkins if you have a solid support system.
25. Nudiustertian means the day before yesterday, not a Martian nudist.
26. If love is blind, marriage can be quite revealing.
27. By the third bottle of wine, your memory might fade.
28. Exercise caution when using a gear stick.
29. Sometimes, the villain is actually the princess.
30. Simply contemplating buying a treadmill is not the same as purchasing one.
31. The reality of sex starvation is genuine.
32. A remote control is not an ideal place for dead batteries.
33. Brain lapses are a real phenomenon.
34. Earning a Nobel Prize for silliness may not be the pinnacle of achievement.
35. Locking yourself out in your pajamas at -30 degrees isn’t as amusing as it seems.
36. Don’t complain about your mistakes—learn from them!
37. The nine most dreaded words are: “I’m from the government, and I’m here to help.”
38. Tittynope refers to a small quantity left over, with no relation to anatomy.
39. Women can also undergo rectal examinations.
40. There remains much more for me to discover.

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In summary, as I reflect on 40 years of life lessons, I recognize that both the profound and the mundane contribute to our understanding of the world. Embracing these insights can lead to personal growth and a richer experience in life.