This final entry in a series follows a stay-at-home mother as she documents her youngest daughter’s final year of high school and the college admissions journey. Alongside this, she reflects on her own transition as she prepares for an empty nest and considers her next steps after her time at home comes to a close.
The transition to college involves a great deal of work—completing applications, securing recommendations, and gathering test scores such as the SAT and ACT. However, there is also significant emotional labor involved for both the parent and the student—the essential task of separation.
No matter the dynamics of your relationship with your teen—whether it’s harmonious, occasionally strained, or a close friendship—both you and your soon-to-be college student will have to navigate the process of separating, whether you are eager for it or not.
I have been contemplating this separation recently as my younger daughter approaches this milestone.
My experience with my older daughter was relatively straightforward. An independent spirit, she sought out sleepaway camp as early as nine years old and began spending her summers away from home at ten. During her junior year, she studied abroad for an entire semester. When she selected a college five and a half hours away, I was unfazed; I knew she would thrive. Since starting college, she has returned home for only a few holidays and one of three summers. I admire and support her independence. As she prepares to graduate this spring, I anticipate she will likely move to another city afterward, and I doubt she will return home permanently. Our relationship remains strong; we communicate regularly, yet she makes her own decisions and shares them with me afterward. This is precisely what I strive for as a parent—raising independent, self-sufficient adults.
In contrast, the separation process with my younger daughter feels more daunting. It is a more intricate emotional journey. She was born five days late, and her arrival required considerable coaxing. As a baby, she refused to take a bottle and clung to night-nursing until nearly one year old. She was reluctant to attend preschool and ultimately decided against sleepaway camp, preferring the comfort of her own bed. Even now, she still enjoys curling up next to me at night to share the details of her day. Although I encourage her to make her own college choices without my input, she frequently seeks my advice, which we sometimes find amusing.
As she recently began her senior year, I am accustomed to receiving her texts throughout the day, often during class breaks or lunchtime. However, last week, I experienced an entire day without a single message from her—not during school or on her commute to work. It wasn’t until 5:30 PM that I finally saw her.
I consciously decided against texting or calling her that day, despite my curiosity about her experiences. I wondered how her new classes were going, whom she had lunch with, and if she had received any important senior updates regarding pictures or cap and gown orders. I also pondered whether she had made a decision about the class she was uncertain about dropping.
This silence is part of the necessary separation process for both of us. A day without communication is a positive step, a milestone to embrace and celebrate. It indicates that she is preparing to forge her own path, while I must start mine. This is essential. For her to evolve into the confident and capable adult I envision—one who can navigate life independently—she must experience moments of distance, even when I am just a text away.
While the logistical aspects of college applications, standardized test scores, and recommendations are crucial, do not overlook the importance of practicing separation. This preparation is the most vital aspect of the impending transition, a reminder I cling to when the separation feels overwhelming.
For those interested in enhancing their journey, check out this fertility booster for men or explore these fertility supplements for additional support. Additionally, this resource on fertility insurance provides valuable information for those navigating pregnancy and home insemination.
In summary, the senior year is not just about preparing for college but also about embracing the emotional journey of separation. It is an essential part of growth for both the parent and the child, paving the way for a healthier, independent future.
Leave a Reply