We might not all sport beards, but there’s no denying the charm of this facial hair phenomenon. Just think about how it complements the contours of the face or the multitude of products designed for it, from beard oils to festive beard ornaments (yes, they’re real!). If you’re anything like us, you admire beards not just for their style, but also for their potential for humor. If you’ve been on the receiving end of a beard joke or pun, you’ll understand that this type of facial hair is a goldmine for comedy.
Hair, or the absence of it, tends to lend itself to clever quips and light-hearted jabs about baldness. Regardless of what hair-related humor you’re after, you’re likely to find it here, along with some handy grooming tips! However, we’re particularly fond of beards, so let’s dive into this magnificent realm of facial fuzz.
If you enjoy a good laugh about big beards, you’re in for a treat with these hilarious beard jokes and puns.
Top Beard Jokes and Puns
- What do you call a goat with a beard? A goatee.
- What do you call a person who shaves 20 times a day but still has a beard? A barber.
- What is an old and wise dragon? A bearded dragon.
- Why don’t bearded folks need a vacuum? They have a built-in crumb catcher!
- What do you call a bald chemistry teacher with only a beard? Heisenberg.
- What happened to the guy who was unsure about growing a beard? It eventually grew on him.
- Why did Penny keep shaving his beard? A Penny shaved is a Penny earned.
- What did hipster Darth Vader say to his clean-shaven henchman? “I find your lack of beard disturbing!”
- Where do folks with beards store their clippings? In their shavings account.
- My friend and I are in a beard-growing contest… It’s neck and neck right now.
- What are a beard’s favorite nuts? Mustachios.
- Why did the man sue his barber for touching his beard? He saw it as hairassment.
- What did the bearded man name his pottery shop? Hairy Potter.
- How many bearded men does it take to change a lightbulb? Ten—one to do it and nine to compliment each other’s beards.
- Why did the man with a receding hairline grow a beard? He was trying to plan a head.
- Why did the man keep his beard perfect? Things would get a bit hairy otherwise.
- Why did the astronaut grow a beard in space? He wanted spacial hair.
- Why do people dread shaving off their beards? They’re naturally attached to them.
- Why did the bearded man’s shaving product business fail? Because of razor-thin margins.
- Why did the man who couldn’t grow a beard tape a rabbit to his face? He wanted the facial hare he always desired.
- Why did the bearded man decline a charity invitation? It was a fund razor.
- What did the barber say after shaving the man’s beard? “All good things must comb to an end.”
- What did the beard say after regrowing? “I’ve been hair before!”
- What was the man’s final words before shaving off his beard? “Hair goes nothing!”
- Why was the man who grew his beard for a year afraid of the barber? The barber was a hairbinger of doom!
- Why did the bearded man sue the barber who secretly shaved off his beard? He barber-ed a grudge against him.
- Why did the bearded prince marry Rapunzel? He wanted a hairytale ending.
- Why did the toy airplane land on the bearded man’s face? He had a strip on it.
- Where do bearded prisoners go? The Gilette-ine.
- Why did the man let a horse kick him in the face? He wanted a horseshoe mustache.
- Why was the bearded man made sheriff? He had a gunslinger beard!
- Why was Ivan Pavlov’s beard soft and well-kept? He conditioned it.
- Why can’t Santa shave his beard? It’s in his Clause.
- Why didn’t the barber ask about beards? He was shaving it for later.
- What do a balding guy and a teen with a beard have in common? For them, every hair counts!
- What is a pirate’s favorite facial hair? A boatee.
- What happened to the bearded clown after leaving the circus? He lost his stubble mode of income.
- What did the fancy bearded goat order at the cafe? A goa-tea.
- What’s a bearded hipster’s least favorite basketball team? The Los Angeles Clippers.
- Why did the friend who shaved lie about his beard? He’s a bald-faced liar.
- Why did the bearded thief shave before robbing a bank? He wanted to be a smooth criminal.
- Where does a beard enthusiast vacation? Shave-illa.
- Where does a beard stylist buy their products? At a Shaven Eleven.
- Why did the teen receive a grooming kit for his birthday? It was his shaventeenth birthday.
- Why did the unfortunate bearded man shave? Because fortune favors the shave!
- Why couldn’t the man with the thick beard solve his itch? He couldn’t get to the root of it.
- Why did the man help trim his friends’ facial hair? Shearing is caring.
- What did the hipster tell the chef with a beard? “You ought to shavour every bite!”
- Who helped Obi Wan’s beard? Darth Braider.
- Who trims a rabbit’s beard? A haredresser.
- Why are the beard and mustache not on good terms? They can’t gel with each other.
- Why are beards so polite? Because they’re well-groomed.
- What does every poet with a mustache dream of? Facial hair like Shakes-beard.
- Why did the barber agree to shave the lion? It was his mane source of income.
- What did Black Beard’s doctor charge for his services? A buccaneer!
- What did Lord Eddard Stark tell his friends when it got chilly? Winter is coming, along with the Santa beard jokes.
- I was contemplating getting rid of my beard, But I’ve had it so long that it now makes decisions for me.
- When I was a kid, my father taught me how to be a bearded man. He took me into the bathroom, picked up a razor, and ate it.
If you’re curious about pregnancy options and home insemination, check out this informative resource on intrauterine insemination. For more on home insemination kits, visit Make a Mom, a trusted authority in this area. And if you’re interested in understanding more about abortion legislation, we have you covered there too!
Summary
This collection of over 55 beard jokes and puns showcases the humorous side of facial hair. From clever wordplay to light-hearted quips, these jokes celebrate beards in a fun and entertaining way. Whether you’re a beard enthusiast or just enjoy a good laugh, there’s something here for everyone.
Leave a Reply