My friends and I were on a weekend Zoom call, reconnecting and inevitably sharing our struggles of juggling family life with everything else. “Ladies, let’s plan a weekend getaway—no partners, no kids, just us!” I suggested. The response was an enthusiastic YES from everyone. After a challenging year at home and with summer approaching, we all felt we needed a break. We envisioned nights filled with wine, laughter, karaoke, and the joy of uninterrupted sleep without a toddler pulling the covers off at dawn. Thus, we set out to organize a much-needed escape for four moms in dire need of some relaxation.
A few weeks later, we had another Zoom chat with a friend, Emma, who had missed the previous call. She had a baby earlier in the year and was coming to town to spend time with her parents. We excitedly told her about our upcoming getaway, not expecting her to want to join. To our surprise, Emma was all in, but she mentioned bringing her baby along.
Awkwardness filled the air. How do you tell a new mom that her little one can’t come? I took a deep breath and explained that we intended for this to be a kid-free retreat, a chance for us to unwind and recharge. I expressed my regret but stressed that having a baby would go against the purpose of our trip.
Emma’s disappointment was palpable as she replied, “Wow! I thought you all would be excited to meet the baby…” We quickly reassured her that we couldn’t wait to see the little one but believed it would be better to meet in a more suitable setting. I reiterated that our goal was to find some peace and quiet, free from the cries and chaos that come with caring for a baby. This trip was about us, just for a couple of days.
This was Emma’s first child, and before becoming a mom, she was the adventurous type who never missed out on fun, so it must have felt strange to be told she couldn’t join because of her baby. However, we had planned this trip specifically as a break for moms to relax without the demands of parenting. Every mom deserves that time away.
Later, Emma proposed a compromise: she would stay at a different hotel and join us during the day with her baby. I gently declined, reminding her that our getaway was meant to be kids-free—no exceptions. The essence of our trip was to focus on ourselves, without the need to cater to a baby’s schedule.
After that conversation, it seemed Emma began to accept our boundaries. She decided to leave the baby with her parents and joined us for the day.
The weekend finally arrived, with the first group of moms heading to the resort on Friday, and Emma arriving on Saturday morning. We had a delightful lunch, enjoyed a hike, and relaxed by the pool. It was a fantastic time! While walking back to our suite, I asked Emma how we could have had so much fun with a six-month-old in tow. She mentioned a mom she saw at the pool with her baby, still feeling a bit of that mom guilt. I pointed out that the other mom was with her husband and another child, indicating it was a family trip. It’s easy for moms to feel guilty for wanting time away, but it’s vital to recharge in order to be the best version of ourselves.
That evening, we had dinner where we spent four glorious hours just chatting and laughing. We then returned to our suite for karaoke and games. If a baby had been with us, we would have had to leave the restaurant early, and Emma wouldn’t have been able to fully engage in our activities.
In the end, Emma spent the night with us and left Sunday morning. It turned out to be a win-win for everyone. We all had a wonderful time and returned home feeling refreshed, ready to embrace our kids again.
I never expected to find myself in the position of telling a friend that her baby wasn’t permitted on our trip. It’s a delicate topic, but I learned that setting boundaries is crucial. Instead of feeling guilty about excluding one person’s baby, reinforcing our original plan allowed us all to enjoy a stress-free getaway.
So, go ahead and plan that mom trip. Don’t feel guilty for prioritizing your needs and those of your friends—you deserve it to be the best mom you can be!
If you’re interested in more insights, check out one of our other blog posts here. For comprehensive information on pregnancy, visit Healthline, and if you’re looking into at-home insemination, Cryobaby is a great resource.
Summary:
A group of friends planned a much-needed mom-only getaway, but one friend with a new baby wanted to join with her infant. After some awkward conversations, it was made clear that the trip was intended to be kids-free for relaxation and self-care. Ultimately, the friend decided to leave her baby with her parents and joined the group, allowing everyone to enjoy the trip fully without any parenting responsibilities.
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