I’ve let the word “crap” slip too many times in front of my child, and every now and then, she echoes it back. We then have the usual discussion about grown-up words versus kid words and why certain expressions are off-limits. She understands. So, when I came across the headline “Matt Damon credits his daughter for ending his use of the f-slur,” I found myself rolling my eyes. Honestly, that headline could have read something entirely different, like “Matt Damon Apologizes For His Homophobic Remarks.” It’s 2021—what in the world, Matt?
As a queer individual, my frustration only grew as I read the article. Matt claims that his change in language comes from recognizing “changes in modern masculinity”—but what does that even mean? Does he mean to imply that everyone deserves respect, including gay men who have long suffered from derogatory terms like ‘f****t’? We shouldn’t sugarcoat hate to spare someone’s feelings. We certainly don’t need our kids to be the ones to teach us that slurs are unacceptable, right?
Yes, Matt Damon should set a positive example for his four daughters. He is, after all, their father. They are undoubtedly influenced by him, just as he was likely influenced by his own upbringing. We are shaped by our surroundings. However, as we grow and develop our own perspectives—like Matt’s insightful daughter—we can either perpetuate harmful language or challenge it.
Matt is not alone in his past use of slurs. Remember when Kevin Hart stepped down from hosting the Oscars due to resurfaced homophobic tweets? Since then, he has attempted to mend fences with the LGBTQ community but has faced backlash for his comments about Lil Nas X’s coming out.
In the article, Matt recounts how his daughter called him out for using the f-slur at the dinner table. He mentions that it was a “joke” from his 2003 film Stuck On You. After Matt told the joke, his daughter left the table to write him a letter asking him to “retire” the word. Seriously? He’s been using that term in his home since before 2003? It took him nearly twenty years and four daughters to grasp that words are impactful, particularly those spoken in the privacy of our homes. There’s no way Matt was unaware of the offense that word carries. He knew.
I generally believe that people are inherently good until proven otherwise. I don’t think Matt Damon is a bad person (I don’t know him personally), but I believe he reflects the era in which he was raised.
We’re never too old to learn from our children, and they can learn from us, too. If I decide to stop saying “crap” around my child, does that mean I won’t slip up next time I forget my mask in the car? Let’s not lead society to believe that Matt Damon will simply stop using harmful language; he alone must hold himself accountable in 2021. The responsibility isn’t solely up to Twitter or the public.
After the backlash, Matt attempted to clarify his comments, stating, “I have never called anyone ‘f****t’ in my personal life, and this conversation with my daughter was not a personal awakening. I do not use slurs of any kind,” he told People. This doesn’t quite match his earlier statements, but okay.
He continued, “I explained that the word was used casually in the past and was even spoken in a movie of mine as recently as 2003; she was incredulous that there was a time when that word was used so thoughtlessly. I was proud of her for articulating how painful that word can be for someone in the LGBTQ+ community, regardless of its past normalization. I not only agreed with her but was thrilled by her passion and commitment to social justice.”
He concluded: “To be as clear as I can be, I stand with the LGBTQ+ community.”
People will always be people, and hate will persist in our society. We should hold each other accountable, and we can advocate for marginalized communities, like the LGBTQ+ community, every single day. While there’s little we can control in life, we can influence what we teach our children and what they absorb from the world around them.
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Summary
In a recent discussion, Matt Damon acknowledged the impact of his daughter’s feedback regarding his use of a homophobic slur. While he claims to have changed, many feel his journey to understanding the harm of such language has been slow. As parents, it’s crucial to learn from our children and be accountable for our language, especially when it comes to promoting respect for all individuals, including those in the LGBTQ+ community.
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