Many of us experience a continuous stream of internal dialogue, replaying past conversations, contemplating what we could have said differently, engaging in both positive and negative self-talk, and even trying to remember what’s on our to-do list or deciding what to snack on next. However, some individuals take this internal chatter a step further by vocalizing their thoughts — they talk to themselves.
This goes beyond just mumbling or muttering; it involves asking ourselves questions, having conversations, and processing everything from trivial matters to deeper issues in search of clarity or solutions. Engaging in self-talk can be a powerful way to gain insight into our thoughts and desires, effectively serving as a tool for self-reflection and awareness of our needs.
I’ve often been caught humming to myself while concentrating or talking out loud in the grocery aisle as I search for the cereal aisle. These external expressions are often mindless, a product of being on autopilot, with sounds just spilling out. Strangely enough, I’ve even had strangers offer to assist me in finding items when they overheard my musings.
In fact, I’ve found that vocalizing what I’m looking for can actually help me locate lost items. Research supports this notion, suggesting that saying the name of something you’re searching for aids in visualization and memory recall. Sometimes, I feel like I’m using a spell from Harry Potter, thinking that if I call out “wallet!” enough times, it will magically appear.
I’ve also intentionally used self-talk to comfort myself and seek answers. Through years of therapy, I’ve developed guided methods to navigate feelings of overwhelm, but my therapists never labeled this practice. Talking to oneself can be an integral part of somatic therapy, which combines cognitive therapy with physical techniques to enhance the mind-body connection.
Dr. Sophia Green, a psychologist and somatic experiencing practitioner, explains that somatic therapy focuses on body awareness, particularly the nervous system. By tuning into our physical sensations, we can be more present and aware of our bodies’ responses. For many, including those with PTSD or a history of trauma, self-talk can be a grounding practice.
As a survivor of trauma, I often struggle with body dysphoria, making it challenging to connect my memories and sensations. Exercise became my first tool for establishing this mind-body connection. I learned that physical activity, whether through a vigorous workout or a calming walk, could ease muscle tension and clear my mind. Yoga and strength training require me to focus on my breathing and movements, helping me feel safe in my body. Over time, I learned to differentiate between discomfort and actual danger, reminding myself that I am safe.
For me, self-talk serves as a mechanism for identifying sources of anxiety and problem-solving solutions. I often talk to myself to process strong emotions or understand why my body feels tense, restless, or fatigued. This practice has become more instinctual with time, especially after years of disconnect from my body.
A fundamental question I ask myself multiple times a day is, “What do I need?” When I struggle to concentrate, decide on meals, or cope with stress, I engage in self-talk as I would with a therapist or friend. By vocalizing my thoughts, I can explore multiple solutions: Maybe I’m simply tired, feeling anxious, or just bored. Perhaps I’m overwhelmed by the ongoing uncertainties of life, including the pandemic and its impact on my family’s health.
Articulating these thoughts out loud often makes it easier to extend kindness and compassion to myself. It can feel like a release, allowing me to process and validate my emotions. Acknowledging my fears and physical discomfort through spoken words helps lift the burden of those thoughts. It’s okay to feel scared or need a break; sometimes, I just need to stretch or take a nap.
When using self-talk as a coping strategy, it’s crucial to ensure the dialogue is positive — not in a toxic positivity way, but in a manner that addresses difficult feelings without self-blame or negativity. Using affirmations in the second person, like “You’ve got this,” or “You are strong,” can drown out the inner critic that suggests we’ll always feel anxious or afraid.
Self-talk allows me to discover my next steps, as I listen to the responses I generate for myself. Whether it’s going for a walk, diving into an audiobook, limiting my work, or jotting down my thoughts, these actions help me get out of my own head. While I’m not a therapist, these skills have been cultivated through years of guidance from mental health professionals.
I highly encourage seeking support from a mental health professional to explore healthy coping mechanisms. It may take some time and experimentation, but the journey is worthwhile. If you haven’t yet tried having conversations with yourself, consider giving it a go. You might just find that you are the most interesting person you talk to all day.
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Summary
Talking to oneself can be a powerful coping mechanism that aids in emotional processing, grounding, and self-awareness. It encourages us to articulate our needs and feelings, fostering kindness and understanding in our internal dialogue. Engaging in positive self-talk can alleviate anxiety and help us navigate challenging emotions. Seeking professional guidance can enhance these skills and promote healthier coping strategies.
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