Dear Heart,
Where do I even start? I can still picture you as a tiny three-month-old, captivated by my hoop earrings, pulling me closer for kisses. I promised you that I would pave a new path for us, to break the cycle and be the kind of role model I never had.
Yet, despite all my efforts, it feels like I’ve let you down. Your feelings about me weigh heavily on my heart. I could brush off criticism from anyone else, but not from you. As long as I had your admiration, I felt invincible. Now, the look in your eyes tells me you don’t see me the way I wish you would.
Let’s rewind a bit. Growing up, I struggled with my appearance. My curly hair was a tangled mess that no one, especially my dad, could manage. I often wore mismatched clothes because I wanted to feel put together, even when I didn’t. But you? You’ve never known that kind of shame. I made sure you never had to experience the pain of feeling out of place.
When I was your age, I moved between schools and felt utterly lost. I faced humiliation in class, and when I dropped out in 11th grade, it felt like my dreams slipped away. Seeing you walk across the graduation stage is a moment I fought for, even when it felt like you disliked me for pushing you to stay in school.
From the very beginning, I wanted to be a role model for you, no matter our circumstances. We started from nothing—food stamps, living with relatives. I wanted more for us than just survival; I aimed for us to thrive. I had to choose between spending quality time with you or building a better life for us. I hope you understand that I didn’t take this path lightly.
My hard work has been relentless, and I sacrificed a lot. I didn’t always have the time or energy to be the perfect class mom, but I showed up for you in my own chaotic way. I know you see me as frazzled and overwhelmed, but every moment of struggle was a battle I fought for you.
I replay my mistakes constantly—the times I lost my patience, was late, or worked too much. It eats away at me. So, I write this letter not just to apologize, but to ask you to really see me. Understand my journey and the love that drives me.
I didn’t have a mother figure for most of my life, and being a mom at 19 was daunting. I’ve made plenty of mistakes, but my love for you is unwavering. I’d do anything to make you feel beautiful and cared for, even if it means sacrificing my own happiness.
So please, my dear, forgive me. I need you to recognize the effort I’ve put into being your mom, even if I haven’t always succeeded.
With all my love,
Mom
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Summary:
This heartfelt letter expresses a mother’s reflections on her parenting journey and the challenges she faced while striving to provide a better life for her daughter. She acknowledges her imperfections and emphasizes her deep love and commitment. The letter serves as a plea for understanding and forgiveness, illuminating the sacrifices made in pursuit of a brighter future.
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