“Pardon the mess,” I often mumble to my feet (and the scattered toys nearby) whenever a visitor steps into my home. But I’ve decided it’s time to stop making apologies for the state of my living space.
I’ve come to realize that if I were living alone, I might be able to keep everything tidy. I sometimes imagine that reaching such an ideal would be a personal achievement, especially considering I was often labeled a “messy child” by my parents. However, the reality is that I share my apartment with four boys, three of whom are under the age of eight.
No matter how much time I spend chasing after my kids, picking up Pokémon cards, LEGO pieces, clothes, and remnants of snacks, I can never seem to stay ahead of the clutter.
Reasons for the Constant Mess
There are several reasons for this constant mess:
- Lack of Natural Orderliness: I wasn’t born with the knack for maintaining an orderly environment. I deeply desire a picture-perfect home, but I simply lack the talent to make it happen. We all have our strengths and weaknesses, and I’m still searching for my domestic superpowers.
- Energy Drain: I often find myself without the energy to tackle all the chores. When I manage to grab a rare moment to myself, scrolling through my phone can seem more appealing than folding laundry or cleaning up. After a long day of parenting, I’d much prefer to unwind with “Bridgerton” (and, yes, Mom, it’s definitely not what you think) instead of focusing on tidying up. My attempts at maintaining cleanliness often fizzle out before I can make any real progress.
- A Fondness for Toys: I have a certain fondness for toys, especially LEGO. Thanks to generous grandparents, our collection has grown into a mini children’s museum. Sometimes, I look back at photos of when my first child was little, and the floor was blissfully empty, but that phase didn’t last long. I’ve come to accept that I am a maximalist at heart.
- Small Living Space: Living in a small city apartment means our living room/dining area is also our playroom, which doesn’t help in keeping things organized.
- Parenting Challenges: Parenting three young boys is an uphill battle. One child creates a mess; three multiply it exponentially. My boys are like tiny tornadoes, capable of turning a tidy space into chaos within minutes. They seem to view the floor as a dumping ground and the walls as napkins (I once watched one of them wipe his face on a wall when a napkin was just within reach).
Despite my efforts to clean up, I often find myself overwhelmed. I can only manage to stay afloat in a sea of laundry and toys. While I make an effort to tidy up, the mess tends to build up over time. Every weekend, it feels like the clutter explodes, and come Monday morning, I’m left to deal with the aftermath, usually making only half-hearted attempts before giving up.
Visiting my more organized friends can inspire me momentarily, but as soon as I return to my own home, I’m reminded why I can’t achieve that level of tidiness. I’ve seen the effort it takes to make a home look like something out of a magazine, and even if I could pull it off, it often doesn’t feel worth the hassle.
I know I’m not alone in admitting that parenting is tough. Our primary focus has to be on keeping our kids safe, happy, and entertained. Yet, I still find myself apologizing for the mess to friends, neighbors, and even service people who come to my door. I wish I could break this habit.
I don’t want to feel guilty for doing my best, even if that best is far from perfect. I want to embrace my imperfection and share my experience to encourage myself and others. So, maybe I’ll post this piece near my entrance to remind guests—and myself—not to apologize for the chaos.
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Search Queries:
- How to manage clutter with kids
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In summary, living in a small apartment with three kids means embracing the mess and not feeling guilty about it. It’s all part of the beautiful chaos of parenting.
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