Navigating the digital landscape can feel like traversing a modern Wild West—vast, unpredictable, exhilarating, and fraught with potential risks. Simply sending our adolescents into this unfamiliar territory with vague advice (such as “Be careful!” or “Make wise choices!”) isn’t sufficient. They require a structured framework rooted in family values and moral principles.
In light of this, I crafted a social media agreement for my 14-year-old son, Jake. On his birthday, we permitted him to create a TikTok account. However, he shared a video that raised concerns among us. After receiving messages from vigilant relatives, it became clear that we needed a formalized set of expectations. A written contract not only clarifies our rules but also reduces disputes over what was agreed upon. After all, an agreement signed by both parents and the child is undeniable.
Here is the revised contract:
- I commit to maintaining my account settings on “private” at all times.
- I will not post images focusing on body parts. I will share pictures of myself and friends only if they show our faces. This is not about shame but about safeguarding myself from unwanted attention.
- I will refrain from sharing sexualized content, including any images or gestures of a sexual nature. While silliness is acceptable, the online world is not a safe space for that kind of expression.
- I pledge to treat myself and others with respect in both my words and images. I will not use social media for mocking, gossiping, or revealing secrets.
- For safety reasons, I will not disclose my exact location in posts. For example, I won’t share that I’m “at the mall with friends and going home later.”
- I promise to report any threatening or inappropriate messages I receive on social media to a trusted adult immediately.
- I agree to avoid pornography. While I understand that sex is a natural part of adult life, I recognize that pornography can be harmful and is not suitable for me at this age. I understand that engaging with such content can have lasting effects on my mental and emotional health. If I accidentally encounter such material, I will stop watching immediately. I also understand that many individuals involved in the production of pornography may be experiencing significant harm. It’s normal to be curious, but I agree to refrain from viewing this material until I’m an adult.
- I acknowledge that everything I post online is permanent, even if deleted. I understand that tech-savvy individuals can recover deleted content, and anyone can find my online history in the future, including potential employers or future relationships.
- During family time, I will set aside my devices, including my phone. This rule applies to adults as well.
- I accept that I may occasionally need to unplug from the Internet. If I show signs of needing a break—like irritability or disinterest in family activities—my parents might request that I take a break from technology for a day or two.
- I agree to stop using all technology, including my phone, by 8:00 PM each night unless I have received prior permission for an exception.
- If I fail to adhere to these guidelines, I understand that my social media access may be revoked for a duration that my parents deem necessary. I recognize that my family loves me deeply and establishes these boundaries out of that love.
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In summary, this contract serves to create a foundation of trust and understanding around social media usage, providing clarity on expectations and consequences. It aims to protect not only my teen’s well-being but also to foster responsible online behavior.
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