By: Emily Carter
My son graduated from high school this past June, and over the last few years, he has been bombarded with the question, “Where are you going to college?” It seems like everyone—from close friends to acquaintances I meet while shopping—wants to know the answer, as if pursuing college is the only acceptable path post-graduation.
This question can feel just as intrusive as asking newlyweds when they plan to start a family or inquiring about job prospects to someone who has just lost their job. It’s simply not your place to ask. Such questions imply that there is a singular, correct way to navigate life, which isn’t true.
Not every high school graduate is ready to jump into college immediately. The pressure can be overwhelming, and many need a moment to breathe and consider their options. There are a multitude of paths available after high school, and it would be refreshing if people began asking graduates about their travel plans, career aspirations, or even military enlistment instead. It might sound odd, but it highlights how society automatically defaults to college as the only viable option.
My son isn’t planning on attending college right now. Instead, he’s taking the time to explore what he truly wants to do with his life before committing to several years of study. I believe that’s a wise decision. He refuses to be rushed into a career path that doesn’t resonate with him.
His friends are also choosing diverse routes: one is enlisting in the military, another is pursuing a career in interior design, and another is learning shipbuilding through an apprenticeship. Meanwhile, one friend has chosen to stay in his current retail job and work his way up. Despite their varied paths, they all face the same incessant question: “Where are you going to college?”
Instead of asking, “What are your plans after high school?” or “What do you hope to do next?” or “What will make you happy?” people often just stick to the college question. Some kids are perfectly comfortable responding, “I’m not going to college because it would stress me out,” and my son is one of those. However, many others feel the weight of expectations to attend college, even if it’s not the right choice for them.
Some teens may find college unattainable due to financial constraints or lack of support at home. The pressure can be overwhelming. I know a young man who, after working for a year to save for college, lost his scholarship due to slipping grades from balancing work and academics. He returned home, feeling the burden of the college question, but ultimately discovered a passion for masonry work. He decided to pursue that instead, avoiding debt in the process.
While many students aspire to attend college—an admirable goal—there are also numerous other paths that can lead to success. My son is thriving in the trades, earning more than I did in my late twenties with a four-year degree that I’m still paying off.
When adults continuously ask teens about their college plans without considering other possibilities, it adds unnecessary stress to their already complicated lives. We need to stop assuming that college is the only next step. This might seem like harmless conversation, but for many teens, it can feel overwhelming.
Let’s shift the conversation. Instead of asking where they are going to college, ask about their passions, goals, or interests. Changing the dialogue can significantly boost their confidence and change how they view their future.
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Summary
In a society where college is often seen as the only post-high school option, it’s crucial to recognize that there are many viable paths for graduates. Rather than asking teens where they plan to attend college, we should encourage them to explore various possibilities and pursue what truly makes them happy.
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