To all the parents out there longing to spend more time with your kids but feeling trapped, I understand your frustration. When the pandemic hit and everything shut down, many parents — despite their love for their children — discovered they weren’t cut out for full-time stay-at-home parenting. I respect that perspective, but I found myself on the opposite end of the spectrum. For the first time, I experienced what it was like to be home full-time with my son, and later, my daughter, who was born in June 2020. It was a time I cherished deeply.
Don’t get me wrong; being at home full-time was challenging. There were days when we all ended up in tears by the afternoon. But I relished the moments of making lunch, napping with my kids, crafting silly projects, and exploring nature together as an unconventional form of learning. It was a gift I never expected to have, and leaving my children again was much harder than I anticipated.
Now that I’m back in the office, I’ve been searching for a way to return home. Quitting outright is off the table since our family relies on my income. Yet, I can’t shake the feeling that there must be a solution I haven’t considered. Maybe part-time work could be the answer: I would still earn a paycheck and gain precious time with my kids, not to mention lower daycare expenses!
However, transitioning to part-time work is much more complicated than it sounds. Most part-time roles come with reduced hours and lack benefits, and they often pay significantly less than full-time positions. I’ve had to turn down several opportunities because the pay was just too low (and trust me, what I currently earn isn’t much).
Finally, I mustered the courage to ask my supervisor about the possibility of moving to part-time within my current position. I thought it was a win-win situation. I’m generally productive, and I often find myself with idle time at work. Plus, after calculating the savings from childcare, our financial situation would remain stable.
I prepared a compelling argument, explaining how this shift could benefit my family while allowing me to maintain, if not enhance, my productivity. I even referenced a study from Iceland showcasing increased productivity in shorter work hours. With a part-time professional already in our department and existing policies for part-time benefits, I believed my request would at least warrant consideration.
Much to my dismay, I was met with an abrupt refusal. My supervisor claimed that my inquiry could jeopardize my position and suggested that I might not have my contract renewed next year. I was told I could seek employment elsewhere and leave if I found something. End of discussion.
Instead of delivering my well-prepared speech, I ended up in tears at my desk, hoping no one would need anything from me for the rest of the day. It was incredibly humiliating.
Feeling valued is essential, whether as an employee, a parent, or simply as a person, right? I recognized the possibility of a “no” response, but to have my request dismissed outright, not due to concerns about coverage or productivity, but because my supervisor was unwilling to entertain the idea due to hypothetical scenarios, felt inconsiderate.
This experience reflects a troubling reality: despite the media’s discussions around supporting working parents and mothers, little has changed post-pandemic. Employers seem reluctant to adopt flexible schedules or implement fair policies for part-time work.
While I may find hope in the future, today, I feel a mix of anger, sadness, embarrassment, and disappointment. Today, I lost faith that I’ll ever have more time with my children while they’re still young. Today, I realized that all my hard work — the debt from my master’s degree, the countless hours away from my kids, and the effort to prove my worth — seems meaningless. They don’t seem to value me; they just want a warm body to fill the role for 40 hours a week instead of 20 or 30.
Perhaps tomorrow, I’ll come to terms with the fact that my contributions are not truly acknowledged. But for now, I’ll sit with the sadness that many other parents share, who long to be home with their children. I understand your feelings, and I know you resonate with this struggle.
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Summary
The author expresses frustration after their request to transition to part-time work was unjustly denied by their supervisor. They reflect on the challenges of balancing work and parenting and the emotional toll of feeling undervalued in their professional role. This experience highlights the ongoing struggles that many parents face when seeking flexibility in their careers, revealing a disconnect between the promises of support for working parents and the realities of the workplace.
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