As a writer, I find myself immersed in social media, perhaps more than I should be. I share snippets of my life through words and images on various platforms, capturing the amusing moments my children provide and showcasing their adorable faces. However, as my kids grow older, they’ve begun to express their opinions about what I share online, and I respect their wishes. My 11-year-old son, in particular, has some fascinating insights regarding social media.
One afternoon, while chatting with my husband about a Facebook post, my son interjected in a playful “Brenda” voice, reminiscent of a quirky middle-aged woman. He remarked, “Oh boy, Facebook! Let’s take a look!” He described Facebook as a platform where moms showcase their lives and boast about their children. I found this observation to be quite accurate. Curious, I encouraged him to elaborate.
He continued, “We take a million pictures daily for you to post on Facebook. But honestly, does anyone really care about what we do every day?” This made me pause. What does it mean to care? Perhaps people enjoy living vicariously through others or find entertainment in the snippets of life shared online, avoiding lengthy storytelling in person. It’s true; maybe the level of care is debatable. I pressed on to know more about his feelings.
“Do you mind that I share things on Facebook?” I asked. He replied, “Sometimes it’s fine, I guess. But your stories aren’t as funny as you think they are. No offense.”
I laughed, assuring him none was taken. I then shifted the conversation to TikTok, knowing he has strong feelings about it. His disdain for “TikTok girls,” who create silly dances and try to appear “drippy” (a term I had to look up), was evident. “It’s just a waste of time. You don’t need to try so hard to be cool. Just be yourself,” he advised, which I found surprisingly insightful for someone about to enter middle school.
He added that while TikTok has its funny moments, the quest for coolness often ruins it. He ended with a cheeky dig at me: “But how would I know? You only let me look at it on your phone because I’m too young, remember?” Touché.
I admitted that I don’t allow him to have TikTok or any social media at his age. I might seem overly cautious, but I believe he’s too young to navigate the complexities of such platforms. I want him to relish his childhood a bit longer, enjoying games like Minecraft and film theory videos. Nevertheless, he’s aware of social media’s existence, so I pressed further.
Next, I asked him about Instagram, curious since my husband is an influencer who uses it for his career. “Instagram, like for a job?” he asked. I clarified that it’s more than just a job; people also use it personally. He shrugged it off, stating, “Facebook is for moms, and Instagram is for businesses. It seems like everyone is just advertising something.”
I explained how advertising infiltrates various aspects of our lives, but the look on his face indicated that I may have lost him after three minutes of that discussion. He seemed indifferent to Instagram, dismissing its value.
Finally, I asked for his overall take on social media: Is it useful or just a time-waster? “Well, you’ve been doing this my whole life. I can’t imagine life without it. It would be strange if you didn’t share pictures and stories. But I don’t get why you spend so much time on it. It’s like you’re addicted to Facebook like you are to Diet Coke.”
He wasn’t wrong. I do spend a lot of time on Facebook, connecting with over 1,000 friends and scrolling through updates. It brings me joy to feel linked to various people in my life. I hope that one day he will find the same satisfaction, even if his experience with social media will be different from mine.
He’ll grow up in a world dominated by smartphones and the Internet, and social media will continue to evolve. I wonder how his generation will share their lives, especially since platforms like Facebook may seem outdated to them. When I asked him how he envisions social media in his future, he sweetly replied, “I hope to stay connected with friends like you do. I want to keep in touch with my brothers and cousins and show them what’s happening in our lives. I hope they think I’m a cool uncle. Do you think they will?”
Absolutely, buddy! I’m confident they’ll think you’re a cool uncle. Social media won’t disappear; it will adapt and likely improve. Just remember, once you share something, it’s out there forever, so think carefully about what you post. And when you receive a friend request from your old mom, I hope you’ll accept it.
For more family-related insights, check out this other blog post about parenting and social media. And if you’re looking for resources on home insemination, Make a Mom is a great authority on the topic, and UCSF offers excellent information as well.
Summary
After discussing social media with my tween son, I was surprised by his candid insights. He views platforms like Facebook as places for moms to showcase their lives and sees TikTok as a waste of time due to the pressure to appear “cool.” His perspectives reflect a growing awareness of social media’s complexities, and while he recognizes its role in our lives, he questions its value. As a parent, I remain cautious about his exposure to social media, wanting him to enjoy his youth while navigating an ever-evolving digital landscape.
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