In our discussions about gender dynamics, we often focus on the shortcomings of men—whether it’s neglecting chores, failing to maintain relationships with their children, or being unfaithful. We hear about men who struggle to connect with women or display a lack of common sense. Reflecting on my own experience, I spent years energy lamenting the ways my father fell short, overlooking his dedication to serving our country for 24 years in the military. That time spent focusing on disappointments didn’t benefit me.
Recently, I’ve come to realize that we often neglect to consider what men need from us. The men and boys in our lives—especially those who are present and supportive—deserve our recognition and appreciation as they face their own challenges for emotional support.
Before I continue, I want to acknowledge that men often have advantages in society that aren’t fair. Women consistently earn less than men, and men frequently receive accolades for trivial accomplishments. However, this article aims to highlight practical ways we can support the men in our lives—fathers, brothers, and beyond—by being mindful of their experiences.
An Instagram post I encountered recently shared insights on how we can better understand and support men. It encouraged me to reflect deeply on my interactions with the men around me.
Men Lack Emotional Support Systems
When I feel overwhelmed or need to vent, I can easily reach out to my friends or family. Unfortunately, many men don’t have that same outlet. It’s crucial that they do; everyone deserves someone to confide in and seek guidance from. Think about the men in your life—do they have a support system? They absolutely deserve one.
Research indicates that men suffer from mental health issues like depression and anxiety just as women do, but they are less likely to seek help. A study in JAMA Psychology explains that men may hesitate to report traditional depressive symptoms, as they conflict with societal expectations of masculinity. Additionally, men’s depression may present differently, manifesting as anger, overcommitting to work or exercise, risky behaviors, or substance abuse. As noted in a New York Times article, the challenge could be mitigated if men were as adept as women at forming social support networks that function like therapy.
Direct Communication is Key
When communicating with men, being direct is essential. Subtle hints will likely go unnoticed. Research shows that women often read between the lines more than men, so it’s important to express intentions and requests clearly. I’ve learned this firsthand with my younger brother; being straightforward saves time and minimizes misunderstandings.
Men Experience Emotions Too
Just like anyone else, men experience a wide range of emotions—hurt, sadness, joy, and everything in between. They have every right to feel these emotions, and we should listen and understand that their expressions may differ from our own.
As a mother of a Black teenager, it’s imperative for me to show him love and support, especially as he grows into adulthood. Sadly, he may be perceived as a threat due to his skin color or height, and that’s a reality that weighs heavily on me. It’s vital that we uplift young men like him, offering support and encouragement.
It’s possible to recognize the privileges some men have and still acknowledge their humanity and need for care. Men are not a monolith; treating them as such is counterproductive. If we want to foster more empathetic men who are ready to step up, we must provide them with the necessary support and tools.
When I can walk down the street or stand on a subway platform and make eye contact with a man without fear or preconceived notions about his intentions, it’s a sign of progress. The men and boys in our lives deserve appreciation, love, and support—let’s extend it to them.
For more insights on supporting men in your life, check out this blog post and learn about resources for enhancing fertility at Make A Mom. Additionally, Facts About Fertility offers excellent information on pregnancy and home insemination.
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