Recently, I had a conversation with a few friends preparing to send their high school seniors off to college. We discussed the emotional challenges of an empty nest, the stress of choosing a major, and the daunting financial responsibilities that come with it. As a parent still years away from this milestone, these discussions have been quite enlightening.
One friend shared that her child is planning to attend college as an undecided major. I must admit, this left me somewhat astonished. Reflecting on my own experiences at 18, I can’t fathom telling my parents, “I’ll figure it out while lounging in my dorm.” Of course, I had a clear goal of becoming a nurse, but I also understood the financial implications for my family, as they had other children to support through college. I was determined to complete my degree on time, recognizing it was a collective investment.
As the time approaches for us to send our son off to college, I have begun to confront the financial realities of obtaining his degree. With our daughter following a few years later, we are faced with a significant decision: invest in two college degrees or purchase a Tesla every year for eight years. While I might prefer the luxury vehicle, my sense of responsibility as a parent drives me to prioritize my children’s education.
From the moment my children entered the world, my husband and I established college savings accounts. We committed to supporting their higher education, just as our families had helped us. Alongside diligent saving, we’ve invested any monetary gifts our children have received since birth, resulting in a growing college fund.
However, this financial support comes with a crucial condition: my children must have a clear plan for their futures before I invest in their education. I am not willing to finance a four-year journey of self-exploration filled with parties and adventures. My husband and I have worked too hard to save over the years to allow a confused teenager to waste those resources.
When discussing this perspective with my friends, they often find humor in comparing me to a character from the film Some Kind of Wonderful. In this movie, a father meticulously outlines his son’s business college plans, only to see his son divert those funds for personal pursuits. While I understand the sentiment, I do not aim to impose a specific career path on my children. Instead, I want to ensure they are purposeful in their educational choices.
In today’s world, many young adults are encouraged to “find themselves” without clear expectations. This trend has led to a generation that sometimes feels entitled. My children are not entitled to my financial support just as I won’t dictate their career choices. It is essential for both parents and children to collaborate to ensure an education that is meaningful and applicable in the real world.
As college approaches, we’ll engage in discussions about their aspirations, potential locations for living, and what brings them joy. I plan to take them on campus visits and share stories from my own college days, hoping to guide them toward thoughtful decisions.
I will do my best to hold back tears as we unpack their belongings in a small, overpriced dorm room. And I assure you, my tears will stem from missing them—not from the financial sacrifices made.
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In summary, while I am fully prepared to support my children’s education, I expect them to take responsibility for their choices. As we approach this important phase, our focus remains on ensuring they are ready to make informed decisions about their futures.
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