Gratitude to Poor Managers for Teaching Me the Value of Boundaries

I never imagined that my early jobs would impart lessons far beyond customer service and work ethic. While those skills are valuable, the most significant insights came from my experiences with terrible managers, who ultimately taught me the importance of establishing boundaries.

Throughout my career, I’ve held various positions, from a craft store associate to a luxury cosmetics makeup artist, and even a loan officer. However, the bizarre and often distressing situations I faced in these seemingly mundane roles were nothing short of shocking. It was akin to a real-life “The Devil Wears Prada,” where I witnessed a manager engage in blatant workplace abuse—behavior that warranted dismissal but instead led to his promotion. Naturally, being a man made it easier for them to overlook his misconduct.

We’ve all encountered bad bosses, and countless horror stories circulate online. Although it took considerable time for me to discover the silver lining in these experiences, I believe I’ve managed to do just that. I learned precisely what I wouldn’t tolerate, and neither should you.

It’s important to note that poor leadership isn’t the sole culprit. Elements such as company culture, upper management, and colleagues can significantly influence your work experience. However, take it from someone who repeatedly failed to set boundaries: No paycheck, regardless of its size, is worth sacrificing your personal limits.

A Tough-Luck Perspective

Ah, my first terrible boss. Like Miranda Priestly, she was someone you loved to hate but couldn’t help but admire. She exuded just enough respect to make you think that if you worked a little harder, you could win her favor. We worked for a luxury cosmetic brand, and while some of us saw it as just another sales job, she elevated it to an unrealistic height. You’d think that selling a $160 face cream was the most crucial task in the world, all for a paltry 3% commission.

What kind of nonsense did we endure? We spent months gearing up for pre-sales, and I vividly recall being in a hospital bed, trying to guide my boss through locating an order I had placed. Thankfully, my mother, with more sense than I had at 18, took the phone from me, informing my boss that I was going into emergency surgery. Did I learn about boundaries then? Not quite, but I took a step in the right direction by leaving that job.

Strong Women and Bullshit Tolerance

After that, I thought I had landed a better opportunity in banking. I believed I would regain my nights and weekends, and that work-life balance would finally be achievable. Little did I know, work-life balance was a myth in this branch, not a corporate office.

As a consumer, I had never viewed banking as a sales-driven industry, but I quickly learned I was mistaken. The job revolved around how many customers you could bring in and how many accounts you could open. My bad boss was a well-meaning woman who allowed men to walk all over her, believing it made her stronger.

It was a toxic environment where male colleagues would storm into her office unannounced and disrupt the workplace. Despite being aware of this unacceptable behavior, she chose to promote the offender instead of addressing the issue. I thought things might change while I was on maternity leave, but when my infant ended up hospitalized, the only call I received was asking when I would return to work. That was the moment I decided I wouldn’t be going back.

Recognizing Your Worth

With time comes wisdom. The lengths I went to please bad bosses now make me shake my head. I had been conditioned to believe I needed the job more than it needed me. While I’m not wealthy, there have been times when financial necessity made unemployment unthinkable. However, it’s essential to remember that companies exist because of their employees.

Setting boundaries is crucial; otherwise, some managers will take advantage of your willingness to comply. Remember, you are a person, not just an employee. You have feelings and deserve respect. Be assertive—don’t tolerate bad bosses.

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In summary, my experiences with poor management have been invaluable in teaching me the necessity of setting boundaries. They forced me to recognize my worth and understand that no job is worth sacrificing my well-being. By learning from these experiences, I hope to empower others to advocate for themselves in the workplace.