By: Jamie Carter, Ed.M, ACC
Updated: Aug. 25, 2021
Originally Published: Aug. 25, 2021
Throughout my day, a quiet reminder on my smartwatch gently buzzes. In the brief moments it takes for me to respond and silence it, I inhale deeply and repeat two crucial words: Release expectations.
This practice began a few years back when I realized that my anxiety was often ignited not by actual circumstances, but by the narratives I constructed about how things ought to be. The disappointment of my envisioned scenarios clashing with reality was a significant source of my stress.
For instance, I envisioned myself as a mother overflowing with patience, enjoying a serene morning with my well-behaved children in our tidy home. The truth, however, is that I often find myself frantically repeating instructions to kids who are either bickering or playing baseball in a cluttered house, rushing out the door, and worrying that we forgot the sunscreen.
8:55 a.m. Release expectations.
I had aimed to fit in a yoga session or a brisk walk before diving into my work, but then I remembered I needed to send a quick email to a potential client. Suddenly, I was buried in my inbox, and my morning exercise time vanished. Now, I’m swamped with meetings for the rest of the day, feeling frustrated with myself for neglecting my health, which only amplifies my stress.
10:20 a.m. Release expectations.
Today, I remembered that my car needed a safety inspection, and I managed to drop it off during lunch—kudos to me for adulting well! But then the mechanic broke the news: one tire needs replacing, and the windshield wiper pump is broken, with the part arriving tomorrow. My car won’t be ready until then.
1:11 p.m. Release expectations.
I fancy myself as someone who checks everything off her to-do list, gliding through the day with ease and never carrying over tasks. Yet some days, it feels like my tasks have multiplied like Gremlins, creating a chaotic mess of additional responsibilities.
3:45 p.m. Release expectations.
I aspire to be the kind of parent who provides only healthy, unprocessed meals that my kids enjoy, asking for seconds with polite gratitude. But, as you can guess, that rarely turns out as planned.
6:40 p.m. Release expectations.
As we approach fall, uncertainty looms about workplaces, schools, and travel plans. I don’t have the expertise to advise on what’s best. What I do know is that reality may not align with our expectations. Letting go of those self-imposed stories and accepting the present may be essential for navigating the challenges ahead.
Deep breath. Release expectations.
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Summary:
This article shares personal experiences of managing anxiety through the simple practice of reminding oneself to “release expectations.” The author illustrates the gap between idealized scenarios and reality in parenting, work, and personal life, emphasizing the importance of acceptance in navigating everyday challenges.
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