When growing up in a large family, it’s easy for a child to feel overlooked. This often rings true for my middle child, Liam, who is the quintessential easygoing kid. He rarely makes waves or demands attention, often sidelining his own preferences—like what movie to watch or what toppings to put on pizza—just to keep the peace. While having a child like Liam is a blessing, it can be challenging for him, and his feelings sometimes go unacknowledged.
Liam knows I love him, but it’s equally crucial for him to feel recognized. What does that mean? To truly see him means acknowledging his thoughts, feelings, and individuality. His opinions carry weight, and he needs to feel empowered to express himself. When I say I see him, I mean I recognize his emotions, fears, joys, and talents. He’s not just another face in our bustling home; he’s an essential part of our family fabric.
Children must understand that they are seen, even if they sometimes feel unheard. As parents, we have hectic lives filled with work, household chores, and juggling kids’ activities. Amidst this chaos, it’s all too easy for a child to feel invisible. Have you ever tuned out while your child is sharing a story? It’s a common occurrence, but our children crave our undivided attention.
Being seen fosters self-worth and boosts a child’s self-confidence. When they feel good about themselves, their positivity shines through and attracts others. This self-assuredness plays a significant role in their future relationships and careers. Kids who feel acknowledged tend to feel valued and are more likely to succeed.
How to Make Your Child Feel Seen
So, how can you make your child feel seen? Compliment them when they excel. Check in on their feelings when they’re struggling. Carve out dedicated time for one-on-one interactions. Put away distractions like your phone or laptop and genuinely listen. These don’t have to be grand gestures; just sprinkle in some extra attention throughout your day.
As their first teachers, we model behavior for our children. It’s essential to instill in them the importance of recognizing others. Encourage your kids to show kindness and empathy to their siblings and friends. Teach them that a small compliment or a friendly gesture can have a big impact. If they see someone being left out, remind them to reach out and include that person. Kindness is powerful, and when someone is kind to you, it makes you feel seen.
Most of us are doing a good job of showing our love for our kids. We express our love through words and actions: feeding them, clothing them, driving them to school, and soothing them after nightmares. However, it’s vital to go beyond just saying “I love you.” Make an effort to recognize the unique qualities that you love about them. Every child has their own special gifts, whether it’s a talent for music, sports, or being a great listener. Be attuned to your child’s strengths and help them shine in those areas.
When deciding on family dinners, solicit everyone’s input. Every vote matters, even if it doesn’t lead to a unanimous decision. Celebrate their achievements—post good grades on the fridge, attend their performances, and show genuine pride in their accomplishments. These actions are what truly matter to a child. They’ll feel your love most profoundly when they realize their unique contributions are valued.
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Summary
It’s essential for children to not only feel loved but also recognized as individuals. In a busy family setting, it’s easy for kids to feel overlooked. Parents can foster a sense of worth and confidence in their children by giving them attention, acknowledging their feelings, and celebrating their unique qualities. Simple acts of kindness and recognition can make a significant difference in how valued children feel, ultimately contributing to their future success.
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