Striving for ‘Better’ Instead of ‘Best’: A More Realistic Approach for Allies and Individuals

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As an advocate for LGBTQIA+ rights and education, I recently encountered a teacher who sought guidance on implementing inclusive practices in her classroom. She expressed a genuine desire to do what was right for all her students, fearing she might make a mistake along the way. I appreciated her thoughtful approach and assured her that I could assist her in making her environment safer and more welcoming for queer students. In our conversation, I mentioned several training models I utilize and emphasized a crucial point: while staff would learn actionable strategies and deepen their understanding of their students, they would inevitably make errors. Her reaction was a blend of shock and relief. I reassured her, saying, “Practice involves mistakes. I’m here to help you establish improved practices, not the best ones.”

I explained that aiming for the so-called “best” could hinder growth and openness to learning. My goal, when conducting diversity and inclusion training, is to encourage continuous improvement and development. We should strive for better, not best. The notion of “best” implies perfection, which is unattainable and often leads to stagnation. When organizations or individuals focus solely on being the best, they risk becoming unaware of the evolving complexities within society.

The experiences and needs of LGBTQIA+ individuals cannot simply be reduced to “best practices.” We are diverse, and while there are general strategies for creating inclusive environments, it’s vital to remain adaptable, ready to modify our language and approaches as necessary. I want my clients to understand that I don’t expect them to be perfect; rather, I expect them to be accountable and committed to ongoing learning and improvement.

By focusing on better practices, we commit ourselves to continual growth and understanding, applicable to all areas of life—from personal aspirations to professional endeavors. Reaching a peak implies there’s nowhere further to go, which is rarely the case. For example, the best form of transportation once was the wagon, but we’ve moved on to more advanced methods.

In my personal life, I strive to improve continuously. My best deadlift now surpasses what it was a year ago, and my mac and cheese recipe is always evolving. As a parent, I recognize that my patience and responses to challenges with my children are in constant flux. I don’t expect them to be perfect, so why should I put that pressure on myself? When I find myself frustrated with my parenting, I focus on the progress I’ve made instead of fixating on perfection.

When my children make mistakes, I encourage them to do better, emphasizing that improvement is what matters. If they clean up a bit more often or interrupt less frequently, that shows growth. Whether it’s in work or personal goals, today’s best practices may not hold up tomorrow.

Embracing the idea of being better prepares us to adapt and respond to new challenges. Letting go of the notion that being the best is the ultimate aim allows room for ongoing development and learning.

For further insights on similar topics, check out this post about home insemination. If you’re interested in the tools for home insemination, Make a Mom is a great resource. Additionally, for comprehensive information regarding pregnancy and related topics, News Medical offers excellent resources.

Summary:

Focusing on ‘better’ rather than ‘best’ fosters continuous growth, adaptability, and understanding, particularly in areas like inclusivity and personal development. Aiming for ‘best’ can lead to stagnation, while striving for ‘better’ encourages learning and improvement in all aspects of life.


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