For nearly three decades, I’ve battled with acne. My skin falls somewhere in the middle of the acne spectrum—not as severe as the painful, cystic variety, but more noticeable than the occasional hormonal breakout. Essentially, my acne is the kind that prompts clear-skinned acquaintances to suggest their skincare routines to me.
I genuinely appreciate their concern. Over the years, I’ve tried it all—faithfully following the skincare rituals of my flawless-skinned friends, attempting to mimic their glowing complexions. From salicylic acid washes to gentle cleansers with no additives, I’ve explored every over-the-counter topical treatment available. I’ve used benzoyl peroxide (which helped clear my skin but left me with dryness and wrinkles), and I’ve endured the “purging” phase of various products, believing that my skin would improve over time. I’ve stayed hydrated, eliminated dairy, gluten, and sugar—one at a time and all together. I’ve exclusively used gentle, non-comedogenic moisturizers, and I still splurge on pricey serums infused with hyaluronic acid. I’ve given every option a fair chance, except for Accutane.
Despite my efforts, I’ve consistently dealt with at least a few pimples—except for brief periods during pregnancy and while on hormonal birth control. Occasionally, the breakouts escalate to a point where I can’t help but cringe when I look at old photos.
At the moment, I manage my acne with two prescription topicals—Aczone and tretinoin (Retin-A). Though I still experience nearly constant breakouts, these medications have reduced their severity, preventing them from being raised and inflamed. However, when a change in my insurance forced me to ration my prescriptions, my skin flared up dramatically.
Recently, I stumbled upon a TikTok video that resonated with my experiences. Dr. Chouake, in the video, highlights a common struggle among those of us with acne: we tend to blame ourselves, convinced we’re somehow failing in our skincare routines. Our friends with clear skin genuinely want to help and believe their solutions will work for us. After all, skin is skin, right? But when their regimens yield only slight improvements, it’s easy to conclude that we’re doing something wrong.
Dr. Chouake reassures us that this is not the case—“Acne is an inflammatory disease of the skin,” he states. “It’s not your fault. It’s nothing that you’re doing.” This affirmation was exactly what I needed to hear, and it might be what you need too.
When friends with clear skin share advice on how to achieve flawless skin, it feels akin to someone who had an easy time with breastfeeding suggesting how I could have improved my supply, or a parent of a neurotypical child offering tips on disciplining my ADHD kid. Unless you’re personally experiencing it—or are a dermatologist—you truly cannot know.
Adding to this feeling of inadequacy is the guilt over being perceived as “superficial” for caring about my skin. I should be able to love my skin, acne included! I’m supposed to accept the angry red marks that disrupt my face’s natural contours or remind myself of the far worse challenges others face. Kudos to those who can embrace their acne without any distress, but I personally find it incredibly frustrating. I can remind myself that others have it worse, but it doesn’t change how much I dislike my breakouts. Why can’t my skin just cooperate?
What I’m beginning to understand is that my skincare routine isn’t to blame. I simply have acne, and my skin is inherently different from those who don’t experience it. My sister can sleep in her makeup without a single breakout, while I could maintain a meticulous skincare regimen and still face persistent pimples.
It’s perfectly valid for me to desire clear skin—to want my complexion free from red, irritated spots. I’m allowed to wish for that!
Lately, I’ve been considering a course of isotretinoin (previously known as Accutane). It’s a serious medication with potential side effects, but for many, it serves as a complete solution for acne—often preventing any recurrence.
I would love to know what it’s like to have clear skin and not be constantly preoccupied with blemishes on my face. So, if you’re dealing with persistent acne and wish to clear it, remember these two things: 1) It’s not your fault. 2) Consult a dermatologist.
Your acne likely isn’t a result of your actions or inactions. The pricey serums your clear-skinned friends swear by might not be the answer—they don’t have the same skin as you. Seeking professional advice is crucial, and you’re entirely justified in doing so.
For more insights on this topic, check out this blog post, and for expert advice, visit this resource on pregnancy. Additionally, if you’re looking into home insemination options, Make A Mom is a great authority on the subject.
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Summary:
Acne can be a frustrating and persistent issue, often leaving individuals feeling guilty and inadequate. It’s important to recognize that acne is not necessarily a result of one’s actions; rather, it’s an inflammatory skin condition. Seeking professional help from a dermatologist is vital, as everyone’s skin is different. Embrace your desire for clear skin and remember that it’s perfectly valid to seek solutions that work for you.
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