Entering your 40s can feel like a strange and unexpected journey. Even the things you anticipate—like the emergence of wrinkles and those pesky night sweats—can hit you like a ton of bricks. For some reason, I thought the stereotypes surrounding “middle-aged women” would apply to everyone else but me, or perhaps not until much later. But here I am, undeniably in my 40s, and let’s face it, it’s a weird and wonderful phase of life.
What makes this period even more challenging—let’s be real, it’s hard—is the realization that we’re being gaslit. This has been happening for generations so much so that we may not even recognize it.
How many times have we heard about the infamous “midlife crisis”? It’s a term that’s often used dismissively, brushing off every uncomfortable emotion or behavior that doesn’t fit the neat narrative of what women “should” be feeling. The implication is that our frustrations are unwarranted and can be easily dismissed with a casual, “must be hormones.”
I’m here to call out that nonsense.
People often romanticize the supposed freedom that comes with your 40s. While it’s true that we care less about trivial matters, we simultaneously become more invested in what truly matters, which can be emotionally draining. We might filter out a lot of the nonsense, but in doing so, we become acutely aware of how much nonsense actually exists.
There are days when you feel fabulous and empowered, wearing that “I don’t give a f***” attitude like a superhero cape. Other days, though, you might feel like saying “I’m done” with everything. And guess what? That’s absolutely normal. The problem is that nobody is talking about it. We either hear how amazing your 40s are or how they’re a total “crisis.” Both narratives are misguided.
We’ve been fed a series of lies. The gaslighting has been so pervasive that it leaves us questioning our own feelings. If we’re not feeling that liberation, we may think something’s wrong with us; if we’re feeling irritated and angry, we’re told it’s just a midlife crisis.
But you’re valid in whatever emotions you’re experiencing. Feeling overwhelmed and anxious is part of being human. Yes, we feel unsettled, and for good reason. Life is fleeting, and every day brings a reminder of its preciousness. We want to shake ourselves and say, “Go on, do that thing you’ve been scared to do!” But we’re often too worn out to act, burdened by responsibilities like transporting our kids to activities and checking in on our aging parents.
Are we angry? Absolutely. And we have every right to be. The world can often feel like chaos. But that doesn’t mean we aren’t also grateful for the good things in our lives; we can experience both gratitude and frustration simultaneously.
Are we confused and apprehensive? Of course! We’re juggling so many roles—caring for aging parents, nurturing our growing children, managing our careers, and maintaining friendships—while trying to carve out time for ourselves. All this while battling sleepless nights due to body changes reminiscent of our teenage years.
We find ourselves awake at night, stressing over our children’s grades, feeling guilty about not spending enough time with our lonely parents, and regretting past decisions. Just when we think we can finally rest, our bodies betray us with discomfort.
This isn’t strange; it’s the reality of life in your 40s. It can be amazing, but it’s also confusing and sometimes downright scary. No matter what others say about how you should feel in this phase of life, your feelings are valid.
Let’s reshape the narrative and acknowledge the intricate realities of life in our 40s and beyond. It’s time to stop gaslighting middle-aged women—including ourselves.
For more insights on navigating these complex feelings, check out this blog post. If you’re interested in the process of home insemination, Make a Mom is an excellent source. You can also refer to American Pregnancy for valuable information on donor insemination.
Summary
The experience of being in your 40s is filled with a mix of feelings that are often dismissed or misunderstood. Women face emotional complexities that deserve recognition rather than being labeled as a midlife crisis. It’s essential to acknowledge and validate these feelings instead of perpetuating myths that lead to gaslighting.
Probable Search Queries:
Leave a Reply