In just five months, I’ll be celebrating my 40th birthday. The big 4-0 is approaching, and rather than dwelling on regrets or pressuring myself to get fit—things I feel I’m supposed to do—I’m genuinely excited. Hitting 40 feels like a significant milestone that I can’t wait to celebrate instead of dread. For me, age signifies a moment to honor rather than a number to fear.
A lot of my enthusiasm stems from the tumultuous medical journey I’ve navigated over the past fifteen years. I faced a life-threatening experience that ultimately led to a diagnosis, avoiding a far worse fate. After living with type 1 diabetes for twelve years, I discovered a lump in my breast. Initial scans gave me hope, but a biopsy confirmed early-stage breast cancer. Following a mastectomy and extensive therapy, I was just starting to regain my confidence when a small knot in my chest wall turned out to be a recurrence of the cancer.
Having recently completed twelve rounds of chemotherapy and immunotherapy, I am now undergoing radiation therapy. To say this past year has been challenging would be an understatement. Nevertheless, I’m incredibly grateful to be alive and on the mend from breast cancer. My experiences have shown me that turning 40 is not such a daunting prospect when you realize that I could have never reached this age at all.
As I grow older, my confidence continues to blossom. I know what I want, and regardless of opinions, I’m pursuing it. Making decisions comes more naturally to me now; I trust my gut and intuition. Plus, I wear what makes me happy, without concern for trends. My wardrobe is full of shades of grey, and I’m perfectly happy with that.
I no longer obsess over my weight; my feelings about my body matter far more than any number on a scale. I also avoid scrutinizing every flaw in the mirror. I believe my stretch marks, scars from my mastectomy, and changing body deserve appreciation rather than criticism. It’s up to me to shape my self-talk, so why not speak kindly to myself?
Has anyone else decided to stop seeking validation from others? Approaching 40 has made me realize that I have one life, and it’s my responsibility to make it fulfilling. If others disapprove of my choices, that’s their issue, not mine. I no longer need permission from anyone to live my life. Everyone has their own challenges, and as long as my choices don’t harm anyone, they are my business alone. It feels empowering to firmly reject any criticism directed at me.
I remain committed to my values and passions, especially advocating for women’s health. I dedicate a lot of my energy to helping women assert themselves in medical situations and reminding them to perform self-breast exams and schedule mammograms. If I let the fear of judgment dictate my conversations, I wouldn’t be openly discussing breast health. Fortunately, I don’t seek approval from anyone, especially not from those who clutch their pearls at my candidness.
I’ve also become more adept at recognizing nonsense and refuse to tolerate pettiness. I’m unafraid to call out racism, sexism, ableism, and other prejudices. I want my children to see a parent who isn’t afraid to stand up for what’s right and challenge the status quo, encouraging them to be compassionate yet assertive.
With each passing year, I’ve become a more loyal friend, while also learning when to let go of friendships that no longer serve me. These endings don’t need to be dramatic; sometimes, it’s simply best to move on without a grand farewell. Not every past friend will remain in my life, and I’ve come to understand what I need and can offer in friendships. If a relationship drains my energy in any way, I’m ready to say goodbye.
In my marriage, my partner and I have settled into a comfortable routine, which I cherish. The predictability and security we share allows for honest conversations, embracing each other’s quirks in a peaceful manner.
These days, I find myself gravitating toward nonfiction as I delve deeper into self-discovery. Have you explored your enneagram? It’s quite fascinating! I’ve come to appreciate my decisiveness and straightforwardness while also recognizing areas I want to improve, such as embracing vulnerability and tackling my long-standing anxiety issues. I’m motivated to work on myself.
Entering this new decade of life excites me rather than frightens me. If I’ve accomplished so much over the past ten years, what incredible experiences await me in the next ten? Time will reveal all.
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Summary
As I approach my 40th birthday, I reflect on my journey through health challenges and embrace this milestone with excitement. My experiences have taught me the importance of self-acceptance and confidence, allowing me to prioritize my values and advocate for women’s health. I’m ready to step into this new decade with optimism and a commitment to live life on my own terms.
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