You’re fine now, right?
That’s the comment I’ve been hearing since the conclusion of Texas’s 87th legislative session, which saw an unprecedented wave of bills aimed at transgender youth. I have advocated for my transgender daughter’s rights at the Capitol before, but never so publicly as in 2021. When all thirteen anti-trans bills failed to pass, friends and allies expressed their relief. Yet, the reality is that trans kids and their families are still not fine.
Governor Abbott’s special session brought my nine-year-old’s life into the spotlight. Senate Bill 29, which prohibits transgender youth from participating in school sports aligned with their gender identity, has resurfaced. With primary challengers questioning the governor’s conservative stance, Abbott has also proposed banning gender-affirming medical care to appeal to far-right voters, despite these measures contradicting established medical practices.
“You’re fine now,” my parents say. My mother’s tone is light and dismissive, failing to acknowledge the growing dangers for my daughter and our family in Texas. My father expresses another worry: If my daughter’s family relocates, who will look after him and my mother?
My parents weren’t always supportive of our decision to affirm our child’s gender. As conservative Christians and lifelong Republicans, I was apprehensive about sharing my daughter’s truth with them. However, I underestimated their capacity for love. Nothing drives a parent to action quite like the fear of losing a child. My parents do not want their grandchild to revert to the anxious, withdrawn child she was before my husband and I allowed her to socially transition. They also fear she might become another victim of bullying or self-harm—or worse.
“They aren’t really going to pass those bills,” my mom reassures me. “If they do, Biden will step in.” But relying on federal intervention overlooks Texans’ responsibility to foster enduring change. What needs to change are the hearts and votes of the Texas populace who either support or turn a blind eye to these politicians and allow misinformation to spread unchecked.
As a parent, it’s easy to dismiss the threat posed by misinformation. Imagining a world in which my child is excluded from essential school activities or denied life-saving gender-affirming medical care, endorsed by all major medical associations, feels overwhelming. However, if we ignore the possibility that anti-trans legislation could succeed (which it nearly did), we must accept that it could very well happen again in the future.
But we don’t have to forsake our roots while preparing for what lies ahead. My parents haven’t abandoned their political beliefs or faith; they remain Republicans, Christians, and staunch supporters of the LGBTQ community. Their transformation regarding transgender rights illustrates that spending meaningful time with a trans child fosters understanding. As they witnessed their grandchild transition socially, they, too, transitioned into advocates. Would they have taken a stand in this legislative season if their grandchild weren’t trans? Certainly not. But seeing their grandchild’s face light up when her correct pronouns are used makes it clear: trans kids deserve the same respect as everyone else.
Some of the strongest allies for trans youth are independents and conservative Christians. Unlike the legislators championing anti-trans bills, these advocates genuinely listen to trans individuals and understand that faith and the LGBTQ community can coexist harmoniously.
Regardless of our political affiliations, we all share a common goal: the well-being of Texas’s children. I have witnessed other families embark on similar journeys of understanding and acceptance. Parents from diverse backgrounds possess the desire and capability to learn, grow, and safeguard the transgender child they cherish.
There aren’t enough trans individuals and families to combat discriminatory legislation alone. We need cisgender allies and the LGBTQIA+ community to heed the voices of experts—trans youth, their parents, and medical professionals—and vote for the welfare of trans children. Remember that we, like you, only want what’s best for our children.
So, no. We are not okay. We have hope, but we can’t achieve it without you.
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Summary:
My conservative family has evolved to support my transgender daughter amid a wave of anti-trans legislation in Texas. Initially hesitant, my parents have become advocates for her rights, demonstrating that love can foster understanding and acceptance. While challenges remain, the journey illustrates that all families can learn and grow to protect their loved ones. We need allies to stand together for trans youth.
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