Do you ever hear that nagging voice in your head telling you that you’re not enough? Or the one that insists that no matter how hard you try, you’ll never quite measure up? If you’ve never faced this struggle, kudos to you—please share your secrets! For as long as I can remember, that voice has been whispering that I am unworthy of just about everything. And just to clarify, when I mention this voice, I’m not saying I actually hear voices; I’m talking about our internal dialogue. I’ve given mine a name: Gertrude. And let me tell you, Gertrude can be quite the nuisance.
Gertrude embodies the persistent imposter syndrome that I grapple with daily. So, what exactly is imposter syndrome? For me, it’s the feeling of being a phony, of never being good enough. All. The. Time. When my daughter’s teachers compliment my parenting, I can’t help but think they’re just being polite—they must say the same thing to every parent, right? Or at work, when my supervisor praises my performance, Gertrude chimes in, reminding me that the compliment is merely a way to placate me. Ugh, I wish I could say I was exaggerating.
Upon reflection, does this mindset even make sense? This past year, I was faced with a situation that tested me in a way I wasn’t prepared for, yet it became crucial for my personal growth. I’ve always dreamed of being a writer. As a child, I proudly wore the title of “bookworm.” I loved getting lost in stories and making connections with characters. I wanted to create those worlds myself—becoming an author, poet, or writer was a dream I held dear. But adults—teachers and counselors—told me those aspirations wouldn’t pay the bills. They advised me to have a practical plan.
So, I tried to create one. I went from one career path to another, from education to psychology, and then even to law. Ultimately, I found myself in sales and banking, and more recently, as a fraud investigator for over five years. Throughout it all, I felt like I was doing “adulting” all wrong. I felt like a fraud. Then, out of the blue, I received the chance I had been waiting for my entire life—the opportunity to write! And Gertrude was doing her best to convince me I was utterly unqualified.
It started with a few articles—some assigned to me, others I pitched myself. The feedback I received was fair and encouraging, but instead of feeling empowered, I became increasingly doubtful. Gertrude resurfaced with her familiar taunts: “They’re just being nice. They know you’re not cut out for this.” I began to agree with her.
But then I realized Gertrude’s narrative was complete nonsense. I didn’t need to prove anything to anyone; if my work didn’t resonate, I wouldn’t receive a second chance. It’s easy to see this now with the benefit of hindsight, yet part of me still struggles with that insecurity. I wish I understood where this deep-rooted feeling of inadequacy originated. I’m actively working on it in therapy—not just for myself, but for my daughters.
I want my girls to believe in themselves. I don’t mean jumping into risky situations without thought, but I want them to pursue their dreams without fear of imperfection. Trust me, I’ve spent far too long letting self-doubt hold me back, and it hasn’t served me well! So hear this loud and clear: Get out of your own way. You are not a fraud—you deserve the same grace you give to others. Seriously, I’m not crying—you are!
Don’t let imposter syndrome convince you that you can’t achieve your dreams. Because if you tell yourself you can’t, then you absolutely won’t. You are worthy of all that you desire in life. It’s a simple truth, yet one we often deny ourselves. You don’t need to be more of this or less of that. You are complete just as you are.
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Summary:
Imposter syndrome is a common struggle that manifests as self-doubt and feelings of inadequacy. Many people, like the author, face this internal voice that insists they are not enough, particularly in their professional pursuits. The journey to self-acceptance is ongoing and involves recognizing and challenging these negative thoughts. Empowering oneself and believing in one’s worth is crucial for overcoming these challenges.
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