Let me be clear: I’m furious, and swearing has become my go-to self-care method. You’ve been warned.
Honestly, I’m struggling to manage all this anger. With the Covid deniers choosing horse medicine over a safe vaccine, anti-maskers protesting outside schools (seriously?), raging wildfires in California, and the harrowing events unfolding in Afghanistan, I just want to pack up, buy a tiny house in the woods, and disconnect from it all.
The recent laws emerging from Texas reminiscent of The Handmaid’s Tale and the Supreme Court’s inaction have left me feeling like I just want to scream: Forget everyone.
I don’t want to be this way. I used to be an optimist, seeing the good in people. I truly believed that most individuals are inherently decent. But now? I’m beginning to question that belief.
Last year, I decided to declutter my life, including my relationships. Since 2016, I’ve been shocked by the transformation of acquaintances into vocal anti-maskers complaining on social media about lockdown restrictions. People I once thought were kind revealed their latent racism while insisting they weren’t prejudiced. Those who seemed like “nice folks” turned out to support Trump. It was a harsh awakening that shook my faith in humanity. Maybe I was naive, but the letdowns have left me deeply disappointed.
As we navigate this ongoing pandemic, it feels like we’re moving backward instead of forward. The anti-maskers haven’t disappeared; they’ve only become more vocal, now shouting at school board meetings. Those who once seemed reasonable have embraced anti-vaccine rhetoric, despite overwhelming evidence supporting the vaccine’s safety and efficacy. Those of us who complied, who wore masks and got vaccinated, are left feeling furious. We’re exhausted from having the same mind-numbing debates with people who barely passed high school science but now fancy themselves experts in health care. We’re tired of trying to persuade others to care.
I’m a sensitive person, typically empathetic, but my patience for empathy has run out. I’m searching for compassion, yet I often find myself only able to muster pity.
I genuinely don’t want to feel this way. I don’t want to harbor such intense rage or resign myself to the idea that “people suck.” I want to believe in the goodness of humanity.
However, when people reveal their true selves, it also helps to identify those who genuinely bring joy into our lives. Over the past few years, casual acquaintances have transformed into close friends over shared values. I’ve been heartened by those on social media combating misinformation by sharing factual, science-based information about vaccines and masks. I’ve forged deeper connections with people who resonate with my struggles.
Now, it’s time to elevate this decluttering approach. I’m talking about scorched earth here. We need to dismantle what isn’t working to rebuild something better.
It’s not just individuals who have disappointed me; it’s our entire system. Climate change is wreaking havoc, our education system is faltering under the weight of inequality, and our healthcare system seems to be failing. Justice no longer feels like a reliable safeguard against tyranny. So, yes, my default stance is one of frustration toward everything.
I don’t want this constant disappointment in myself or others. I might fantasize about retreating to that tiny house in the woods, but I don’t actually want to isolate myself. I don’t despise everyone; I just want to surround myself with individuals who truly uplift and inspire me. I seek out those who genuinely care about others and share fundamental values, even if our opinions differ.
Everything else feels like a distraction, draining my energy and spirit during these tumultuous times. Thankfully, when you cut out the negativity, it becomes clear that those who bring joy significantly outnumber the rest. The last few years have been challenging, but I refuse to accept that humanity is irredeemable. The goodness is still out there; we just need to uncover it, and sometimes that means burning down what no longer serves us.
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Summary:
This article expresses deep frustration with societal issues, including the pandemic response, anti-vaccine sentiments, and systemic failures. The author reflects on personal disillusionment with humanity while also acknowledging the importance of surrounding oneself with genuine, uplifting individuals. The piece emphasizes the need for radical change to foster a supportive community and a better future.
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