I don’t typically see myself as someone who suffers from anxiety, but perhaps that’s just my way of denying the truth. If you looked up anxiety, you’d probably find a picture of me hyperventilating into a paper bag. I embody the term “nervous Nelly.”
I can’t pinpoint exactly when I first recognized my anxiety, but acknowledging it has significantly helped me navigate adulthood. I know my triggers and have developed coping strategies that don’t require medication (but definitely consult your doctor, of course). All of this was before the pandemic.
And what exacerbates anxiety? The unknown. What makes it spiral further out of control? Pregnancy hormones. I’ve inadvertently brewed the perfect storm of anxiety and uncertainty during this pandemic.
Don’t get me wrong; my baby has been the most wonderful gift in the past year and a half. When I start to panic, her cute little smiles and coos offer me comfort. At the end of each day, I am grateful for her and her siblings. But that doesn’t eliminate the anxiety.
Instead of worrying about the typical concerns a new mom faces, the Delta variant has barged in and taken over, adding to my already frazzled nerves. My worries have shifted from “Is my baby breathing?” to “Is that congestion normal? What germs are floating around?” Instead of simply enjoying cuddles, I am in a constant state of panic, checking for fevers more times than I can count.
I am not functioning as I should. It’s not just about the baby; if anyone sneezes in our household, my heart races. The current allergy season is the worst! Nothing pairs with allergies quite like the fear of lung infections. I’ve convinced myself we’re just one sneeze away from Covid making a comeback.
Plus, I have to be concerned about everyone outside our home. It seems like adults are handling the pandemic worse than the children. I can’t trust anyone to maintain social distance, wear masks, or wash their hands properly. What happened to common sense?
When I found out I was expecting last fall, I believed that by the time my baby arrived, COVID would be a thing of the past. I envisioned getting back to normal activities, like traveling and enjoying the outdoors without fear. Instead, I’m navigating postpartum challenges while constantly reminding my older kids to keep their masks on and avoid touching anything. It feels like an endless cycle of reminders.
Lately, I’ve been avoiding the news because even the thought of COVID sends me into a two-hour spiral of doomscrolling. I’ve prepared for every possible worst-case scenario and have a list of vitamins that rivals my child’s Christmas list. The combination of a pandemic, anxiety, and newborn fatigue is overwhelming. I just want this to end.
The Delta variant is truly robbing me of my postpartum joy. While I know I’ll eventually feel better, right now, I’m struggling. A little prayer wouldn’t hurt.
If you’re interested in more insights, check out this other blog post, which might resonate with you. You can also find valuable information at Make a Mom, an authority on home insemination topics. Additionally, for research on fertility and pregnancy, Science Daily is an excellent resource.
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In summary, the Delta variant has significantly increased my postpartum anxiety, making it difficult to enjoy the early days of motherhood. The fear of illness and the pressures of navigating a pandemic add layers of stress that complicate the typical worries of a new mom.
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