I made a significant choice seven years ago that I often reflect on. Nowadays, when I chat with friends who are planning to have children, many later in life, I urge them to think carefully before leaving their jobs after having a baby. My own decision to step away from work was impulsive.
At the time my first child arrived, I was deeply passionate about my role at a publishing company where I was surrounded by encouraging colleagues and engaging projects. The years leading up to my child’s birth were fulfilling professionally, especially when my company was acquired by a larger entity, bringing with it enhanced benefits and exciting opportunities. I once told friends that I envisioned a long career there, never considering I would leave after the baby was born.
We had only been married for a year when I found out I was pregnant at 32. Life moved quickly; we married, settled in New York City, and soon after, we were expecting. Shortly following our move to the suburbs, I took a brief maternity leave. During that time, the office relocated further away, drastically changing my daily routine. In an instant, I was faced with a long commute, the challenges of juggling work and parenting, and the emotional turmoil of feeling like a stranger to my own child.
As if that wasn’t enough, shortly after returning to work, the tri-state blackout hit while I was trying to catch a bus home. I was stranded in the city, anxiously pumping milk for my three-month-old left with a babysitter who was unprepared for the situation. Although they managed to get through the night, it marked a turning point for me—I felt the pressure of my dual roles was becoming too much.
Upon my return, my managers graciously allowed me to work three days in the office and two from home. While this helped ease the transition, my anxiety about missing milestones in my daughter’s development overshadowed my work life. She began to walk without me, and I heard her calling the babysitter “mommy.” The stress of balancing work commitments with motherhood took a toll on my health, leading to frequent illnesses.
Eventually, the day came when I decided to resign. My departure was not unexpected, though I left on good terms. For the first six months, I continued working part-time for my previous employer, which I now recognize as a blessing. However, I struggled to detach from my work life. I missed my colleagues and the projects I had invested so much into.
Soon after leaving, I became pregnant again, adding to the chaos of my home life with two children just 19 months apart. As I dealt with the challenges of parenting infants, I quickly realized that being a full-time stay-at-home parent was not for me. I grew increasingly unhappy and, during a trip to England, I encountered women who successfully balanced part-time work with family life. This inspired me to seek a similar path upon returning to the U.S., ultimately leading to a part-time role in publishing that evolved into consulting.
While part-time work allowed me to attend ballet recitals and school events, it often fell short of utilizing my full potential. I’ve found myself pondering whether hiring a more compatible babysitter back then or holding onto my job longer would have made a difference. In retrospect, my children would have thrived regardless.
It’s worth noting that I never particularly enjoyed playgrounds or school drop-offs, nor did I relish the responsibility of full-time childcare. I sometimes feel inadequate compared to other mothers who seem to embrace the domestic life effortlessly. My children would love to bake and engage in crafts, but I’ve come to accept that I am not that type of mother—something I wish I had recognized before making that life-altering choice.
While I don’t suggest that working full-time while raising kids is easy, I find fulfillment in my career, financial independence, and the balance it creates. My children benefit from having additional caregivers, and I return to them rejuvenated after time spent away.
If you are a new mother contemplating leaving your job, consider all options carefully. Maintaining a part-time position that mirrors the responsibilities of full-time work might be beneficial, but prioritize what feels right for you. If you love your job before children arrive, it may be wise to stay. A strong commitment to your position can facilitate better work-life balance, allowing you to attend important events without sacrificing career satisfaction.
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Summary:
Reflecting on past decisions regarding work and motherhood reveals the complex balance many parents face. While I initially left my job to focus on raising my children, I realized that maintaining a career can provide both satisfaction and benefits for the family. It’s crucial for new parents to weigh their options carefully and choose the path that aligns best with their personal and professional aspirations.
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