Growing Up With My Grandparents: The Need for Communities Like Bridge Meadows

I grew up in a large, two-story brown house nestled on the outskirts of Eastern Long Island, about two hours away from New York City. As I got older, strangers would occasionally remark, “You resemble your dad,” or “Your mom is stunning.” What these strangers didn’t realize—and what I was too embarrassed to disclose—was that the people they assumed were my parents were actually my maternal grandparents. My true parents were largely absent and too young, engrossed in their previous lives before my arrival, to provide the care I needed.

In countless ways, I became my grandparents’ child. They took on the responsibility of raising me until I moved into my first apartment during my junior year of college. Like many children in the United States, I was raised by my grandparents due to various family disruptions, including addiction, incarceration, and neglect. While some children enter the foster care system, others, like my siblings and me, end up in the care of relatives through kinship guardianship or adoption.

My grandparents were precisely the caregivers I required. They not only offered financial support but also instilled values in me that I will always cherish. As a child, I was unaware of their struggles to maintain stability for us. We relocated frequently for job opportunities, and I suspect we also fled from my mother’s increasingly erratic behavior due to her crack cocaine addiction. Each new place represented a fresh start.

We could have greatly benefited from a community like Bridge Meadows.

What is Bridge Meadows?

It’s a network of housing developments designed to positively impact the lives of children and their caregivers, particularly those from multigenerational families like mine. Currently located in Portland and Beaverton, Oregon, with more locations on the horizon, these communities support families in need.

As stated on their website, Bridge Meadows aims to “develop and sustain intentional, intergenerational communities for youth formerly in foster care, adoptive families, and elders, building place, permanence, and shared social purpose one community at a time.” Reading this fills me with both sadness and hope. Bridge Meadows not only offers a place for caregivers to raise their children but also provides a healing environment for those affected by the foster care system.

I can personally attest that despite my grandparents being loving, attentive, and emotionally available, I still faced trauma. My parents were physically and emotionally absent, and when they were present, I often had to manage their feelings and lives. Trauma can affect many families, even those that appear to have it all together. The Bridge Meadows community offers healing, support, and a sense of kinship that every family could benefit from.

In 2010, research indicated that 1 in 14 children, or 5.4 million kids, were being raised by their grandparents, a rise from 4.7 million in 2005. More than half of these children were primarily cared for by a grandparent responsible for most of their basic needs. This statistic underscores the growing necessity for support in our society.

Multigenerational families often face challenges that our society struggles to address, including effective rehabilitation for those battling substance abuse, affordable housing, and educational opportunities for both children and their caregivers. Bridge Meadows is bridging this gap, offering the essential support that so many families require.

The Importance of Community

Communities like Bridge Meadows exemplify the adage, “it takes a village to raise a child.” They are more than just housing developments; they provide hope and a nurturing environment for families navigating nontraditional dynamics.

In my own journey, I have learned that the only dependable community is the one we create ourselves. Not only was I raised by my grandparents, but I am also raising my half-brother as my own son. The little boy who came into my care nearly fifteen years ago has taught me invaluable lessons about parenthood and the need for a supportive community for both his wellbeing and mine. Parenting is a challenging endeavor, particularly in a nontraditional setting. Communities like Bridge Meadows offer necessary support for families, and as someone who grew up in a multigenerational home, I would love to see more initiatives like this across the country.

We owe it to the grandparents who have stepped in to fulfill the parental roles that their own children could not.

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Summary

The author shares her experience of being raised by her grandparents due to her parents’ absence, highlighting the need for supportive communities like Bridge Meadows. This initiative provides a nurturing environment for multigenerational families, assisting them in overcoming challenges such as trauma and lack of resources. Through her personal journey of caregiving and parenting her half-brother, she emphasizes the importance of creating supportive communities for families facing nontraditional dynamics.