My partner and I have never taken on a significant home renovation project, let alone built a house. The idea feels overwhelmingly daunting and costly. Plus, neither of us is particularly handy. Attempting DIY tasks like tiling a floor or refinishing cabinets would likely lead to more harm than good.
We also contend with our differing personalities. I’m organized and decisive, while my partner tends to procrastinate and is meticulous about details. Given our contrasting traits and our lack of renovation skills, I find myself questioning our decision to finish our basement. We genuinely need the extra space, but can our relationship endure a home project for which we’re both ill-prepared?
Having been together for over twenty years, we’ve always chosen places that were move-in ready. We’ve tackled smaller projects with the help of skilled professionals, and I have no interest in getting my hands dirty, especially alongside my partner. While I love him dearly, I doubt we are suited to be an HGTV-style couple.
When it comes to decision-making, we are on opposite ends of the spectrum. I make quick choices and move on, while my partner deliberates for days, weeks, or even months. For instance, when we park, I select a spot quickly, often near a cart corral to protect my kids from bumping into other cars. My partner, on the other hand, will circle the parking lot multiple times, hesitating at every potential space, and I often find myself exasperated.
The same pattern emerges when we order food; I decide within minutes, while my partner takes forever to choose, typically settling on what he ordered last time. With our basement renovation, we face countless decisions, from backsplash colors to flooring styles. I had my Pinterest board ready from the get-go, while my partner collects brochures to compare every detail.
Our differences extend to how we interact with contractors. I prefer a straightforward approach, setting clear expectations and stepping back once the work begins. My partner, however, tends to ask numerous questions and shows considerable patience, often giving workers more leeway than I would.
We’re only a few weeks into this project, and it’s already sparked numerous spirited discussions. Home renovations are not merely about making choices and paying bills; they unveil underlying marital dynamics, personal strengths, and the occasional pettiness. I truly want this new space to bring joy to our family, but achieving that goal feels more challenging than I anticipated.
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Summary
Kelly recounts her experience with her partner as they embark on a challenging home renovation project, highlighting their contrasting decision-making styles and personalities. With over twenty years together, they struggle to navigate this daunting task, questioning whether their relationship can withstand the stress of home improvement.

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