I consider myself a pretty giving person. Growing up with three siblings meant that sharing was a way of life. We always shared a room, and my mom rarely brought home treats that were just for one of us. Christmases often featured one big gift for all to enjoy. My sister, however, took a different approach—she labeled everything with her name and even stuck on name stickers. It seems sharing affects everyone differently.
Fast forward to my life now, where I have three kids. Let’s just say, personal space has never been a luxury of mine. My bedroom, food, and even my alone time have always been up for grabs. But as my kids have grown more independent, I’ve realized there are certain things I simply won’t share with them—or my partner.
It’s essential to clarify that not sharing particular items or experiences doesn’t automatically make someone selfish or inconsiderate. However, some boundaries should be respected. For instance, I once had a neighbor who wouldn’t let her husband wear her clothes or use her moisturizer. That’s just plain unreasonable.
1. Bathroom Privacy
In my first marriage, I didn’t prioritize bathroom privacy, but those days are long gone. My time in the bathroom is now sacred. I refuse to let my partner come in while I’m showering or handling personal matters just to hang out. Sure, if it’s an emergency, I’ll step out, but I’m not interested in sharing a bathroom experience while I’m doing something personal.
2. My Fries
When I order fries with my meal, I quickly realize that if my partner claims he doesn’t want any, he’s probably just waiting to snatch half of my portion. Fries are my ultimate comfort food, and I want to devour them without guilt. I’m happy to buy him a portion of his own—seriously, I will even bribe him with other treats if he stays away from mine!
3. My Pillow
I need my own space when I sleep. A quick cuddle is nice, but then it’s back to my pillow where I can breathe freely. If my partner tries to encroach on my pillow, it’s not going to end well for either of us.
4. My Bank Account
After experiencing a joint account with my ex, I now prefer to keep my finances separate. I’m open to a joint account for bills or emergencies, but my personal expenses are off-limits for anyone to critique. I don’t need anyone commenting on my spending choices, whether it’s Botox or my three daily Diet Cokes.
Aside from these four boundaries, I’m generally open to sharing other things like my toothbrush or socks. I’m not squeamish about using the same spoon or sharing straws—as long as I get my fair share! I can even talk about bodily functions, but I prefer to keep those moments private. It helps maintain a little mystery and allows me to feel like my own person.
In conclusion, I’m a pretty generous sharer, but if you try to grab my fries, be prepared for a showdown.
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In summary, establishing boundaries in a relationship is important for personal comfort and individuality. While I’m open to sharing many things, there are certain essentials—like bathroom privacy, comfort food, my pillow, and financial independence—that I prefer to keep to myself.
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