You might be surprised to learn that I’ve only ever been intimate with my husband. It’s not a common story, especially from someone in their 40s. My choice to remain a virgin until marriage wasn’t rooted in religious beliefs, even though I practice Catholicism. I don’t believe I’m superior for waiting; it was simply my personal journey.
During my high school years, my faith shaped my decisions, but it was before I had any real experience in the dating world. When I finally became intimate at 27, it felt quite rare compared to my peers. I was often referred to as “the virgin friend.” While I didn’t understand why people shared that detail about me, it didn’t bother me. I realized that anyone uninterested in me because I wouldn’t sleep with them on the first date wasn’t the kind of person I wanted to be with.
Before meeting my husband, I had a serious relationship in college where we were very close physically but never fully intimate. He respected my boundaries, and that experience taught me the importance of being respected for my choices.
I met my husband at work, and after a few casual outings, our connection deepened. When I shared my decision about intimacy, his warm smile reassured me. As our relationship progressed, I discovered a love I had never known, and it felt right to share that part of myself with him.
We discussed our plans, and I made it clear I wanted to be sober when we became intimate. It was a regular Sunday morning—no elaborate setup or special occasion. I was pleasantly surprised that I felt nothing but happiness and contentment after waiting so long.
Some might think it’s strange that I’ve only been with one person, but I believe it’s enough for me. I often wonder how it feels to be married and know your best experiences were with others, but that’s just how I feel. My husband was not a virgin, and I didn’t want to know about his past. What mattered to me was that he chose me to be his last partner.
We’ve been married for 15 years now, and I would make the same choice all over again. This path isn’t for everyone, but I know I’m not alone in my experience.
As a mother, I would encourage my daughter to consider the weight of this decision without forcing her to follow my path. I hope she finds someone who respects her, just as I did. Respect and love were the foundations of my decision to wait.
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In summary, my choice to wait until 27 to lose my virginity to my husband has shaped my life positively. It was a decision made with thought and respect, and looking back, I feel fulfilled in my journey.
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