I'm Now a Soccer Mom, and It's Reminded Me Why I'm Not a Fan of Team Sports

My daughter has been eager to join a soccer team for years, but this is the first time we’ve actually made it happen by signing her up for the fall season. Shopping for her cleats, shin guards, and an excess of soccer shorts was enjoyable, but when we arrived at the first practice, reality hit me hard: she’s still my little girl, and my heart is navigating a whirlwind of emotions.

Half of her teammates are new, while the other half are returning players. I find myself worrying about whether they’ll accept her, how quickly she’ll grasp the rules, and, most importantly, if she’ll enjoy herself. I’m definitely not the type of soccer mom who will scream from the sidelines about her defensive plays. Honestly, I’d be the one cheering the loudest, even if she inadvertently dribbled the ball the wrong way. My own experience with soccer ended after just one season—mostly because I despised running and found it far more entertaining to pick dandelions than to focus on the game. I’m not exaggerating; my parents love to recount that story.

She’s participated in gymnastics and ballet, but this marks her first foray into a team sport where cooperation is key. Many of my worries stem from my not-so-great history with team sports. While there are invaluable lessons to be learned—like confidence, communication, and teamwork—my anxiety often takes over, making me fret about how things could go wrong.

I Want Her to Make Friends, Not Frenemies

The “mean girls” phenomenon is real, and I worry about how my daughter will navigate friendships in this environment. While my kids understand that not everyone will be their best friend, they are still young and learning what healthy relationships look like. Most kids, I believe, want to be kind and make friends, and it’s the adults who often complicate things.

Team sports are about collaboration, but ego sometimes gets in the way. Some players want to be the fastest or score the most goals. All I truly desire is for my daughter to have fun and maybe forge some genuine friendships—nothing superficial or backhanded. Like you, Janet—we all heard your comments about the non-organic snacks.

I’m not suggesting that learning a new sport and functioning as a team won’t come with challenges. However, there’s always room for friendship and enjoyment. I doubt a World Cup career is in her future, so while effort and improvement are essential, it’s equally important that soccer remains a source of joy, not stress. They shouldn’t have to be cutthroat or mean.

It Should Always Be Fun

The moment soccer stops being fun for her is when she’ll want to quit. I’ve experienced the pressure of forced participation, and it didn’t get any better. I want to ensure my daughter has a more positive experience than I did.

Whatever she chooses to pursue should be a source of happiness, not anxiety. Sure, stress is a normal part of life, but she’ll face enough of that as she navigates middle and high school in today’s tech-driven world. If she engages in a team sport, it should be out of desire, not obligation.

While it’s too early to tell how she’ll adapt to team sports, so far, things are looking up. Maybe I’m just bracing myself for worst-case scenarios, but her excitement for the next practice is encouraging. Here’s hoping soccer becomes everything she dreams it to be—and more. Regardless of how her team performs, as long as she enjoys herself, that’s a win in my book.

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In summary, while stepping into the world of team sports as a soccer mom has brought back memories of my own experiences, I hope for a better journey for my daughter. The essence of sports should be joy, learning, and friendship rather than pressure and competition.