To understand who I am, you need to know that I’m not only a writer; I’m also a proud single mom. I embrace this identity wholeheartedly. After all, what’s the alternative? Being depressed? Crying all day? Constantly lamenting my situation and wishing for a partner? No, thanks!
After nine years of navigating life solo, I’ve learned to power through. But contrary to popular belief, despite the compliments I receive about my parenting, I don’t want to be a single mom indefinitely. Sure, women can thrive on our own, and while we may not need a partner, I’ll be honest — I’d like one. I envision a life that includes companionship, or at least some form of partnership!
After watching Netflix’s series “The Chair,” featuring the immensely talented Angela Kim (pun intended), I was reminded of why I long for that kind of life. The show follows Dr. Ji-Yoon Kim as she takes on the role of Chair of the English department at Pembroke University, facing challenges as the first woman and a person of color in that position. Among her struggles is juggling her career with being a single mom.
As I watched Ji-Yoon’s attempts to maintain balance, it hit me just how tough it is to be a single mother. Finding reliable childcare is a monumental task, especially if you can afford it. There are days when your child has a meltdown at school, falls ill, or simply won’t stop bothering their classmates, forcing you to leave work early. It often feels like my anthem could be that Beyoncé song about independence — “me, myself, and I”!
And let’s not forget that as I get older, so do my parents. They might be around, but they aren’t always able to step in and help. I’ve lost track of how many times I’ve had to redo my child’s homework because my parents tried to assist. It’s draining.
While these challenges may not seem life-threatening, they can wear you down. As a single mom, chaos becomes your everyday reality, and it’s hard to imagine anything easier. The only way to alleviate some of that chaos is with consistent help.
In one memorable episode of “The Chair,” Ji-Yoon’s colleague and love interest, Tom, steps in to care for her daughter when he is suspended from work. He babysits for free, tidies the house, and prepares dinner. In that moment, I was reminded of why I can’t stay single forever. I adore my daughter and cherish being her world, but I deeply crave support.
I dream of coming home to a warm, home-cooked meal instead of feeling exhausted from the daily grind. There were times when putting my daughter to bed would lead to me falling asleep too, waking up frustrated that I had neglected chores. Just having the peace of mind that your child is in good hands — rather than with a random babysitter — is a blessing.
So yes, I don’t want to be a single mom forever. With many women choosing to remain unmarried these days, I want to assert that I’m not one of them. I long for a life where not every responsibility falls on my shoulders, where I can take a breather, and where I don’t have to carry the weight of everything on my own.
While “The Chair” may not be the most thrilling drama out there, it resonates deeply with single moms like me. As the season wraps up, it leaves us with a hint of optimism — a reminder that things can and will improve.
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In summary, “The Chair” serves as a poignant reminder of the complexities of single motherhood, highlighting the yearning for partnership and support that many of us share. It’s a reflection on the daily struggles and the hope for a balanced life filled with companionship.
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