To know me is to understand that I’m not just a writer; I’m also a proud single mom. I wear that title like a badge of honor. What’s the alternative? Feeling down? Crying all day? Throwing my hands up and screaming about needing a partner? No, thank you!
After nearly a decade of navigating single motherhood, I’ve learned to tough it out. But despite what others might think, and even though many believe I’m doing a fantastic job, I truly don’t want to live this single mom life indefinitely. Sure, women can thrive on their own, and we may not need a partner, but let’s be real — I’d like one! I’d prefer a committed relationship or at least a serious partnership. Anything but this solo journey.
Watching Netflix’s latest series “The Chair,” featuring the incredible Sandra Oh (no pun intended), reminded me why I long for companionship. The show follows Dr. Ji-Yoon Kim (Oh) as she juggles her new position as Chair of the English department at Pembroke University, facing unique challenges as the first woman and one of the few people of color in her role. Among these challenges is the struggle of balancing her job with single motherhood.
As I watched Ji-Yoon strive to maintain her equilibrium, I was struck by how tough it is to be a single mom. Finding reliable childcare can be a nightmare, and if you’re lucky enough to afford it, you still worry about your child’s well-being. Whether it’s a rough day at school, an unexpected illness, or that delightful phase where your child seems to torment everyone around them, it’s a constant scramble to manage work and parenting. It often feels like my life soundtrack is that song by Beyoncé: “me, myself and I is all I got.”
And if you’re at a certain age, so are your parents. Even if they’re around, they may not be able to help much. I can’t count how many times I’ve had to redo my daughter’s homework because my parents “assisted” her. It’s exhausting.
Yet, these challenges, while demanding, aren’t necessarily dire. A single mom often becomes desensitized to the chaos, imagining how much easier life could be with support. And that’s exactly the kind of help Ji-Yoon experienced in episode 4 of “The Chair.” When her colleague and potential love interest, Bill Dobson, gets suspended and spends the day caring for her daughter, it highlights the value of dependable support. He not only babysits but also manages to tidy up the house and prepare dinner.
In that moment, I was reminded once more of why I don’t want to remain single forever. I adore my daughter, and I cherish being her whole world, but I also crave assistance. Just once, I’d love to come home to a delicious meal waiting for me. I remember those nights when my daughter was younger, and I’d often fall asleep while putting her to bed. Then I’d wake up frustrated, falling behind on chores because I dozed off instead of tackling my to-do list.
The peace of knowing your child is in safe hands rather than leaving them with an unknown babysitter is a blessing in itself. So yes, I don’t want to live the single mom life indefinitely. With so many women embracing the idea of being single, I want to remind everyone that I’m not one of them. I yearn for a life where I don’t carry all the burdens alone, where I can take a break and not fret over chores, and where, when I’m unwell, someone else can step in.
While “The Chair” may feel a bit slow compared to other dramas, it presents a relatable perspective for single moms, and as the season concludes, there’s a flicker of hope that things can improve — a sentiment that’s incredibly uplifting.
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In summary, “The Chair” serves as a poignant reminder of the challenges of single motherhood while highlighting the importance of support and companionship. I don’t want to navigate this journey alone forever—help and partnership can make all the difference.
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