I’m an introvert at heart, but I’ve always found joy in connecting with others, learning about diverse cultures, and experiencing life from different perspectives. The allure of stepping into another world has long captivated me, and the pandemic has intensified my longing to explore. I often pushed my travel aspirations aside, telling myself I would go “when I had the time.” However, the pandemic underscored the urgency of my dreams; time is a fleeting resource we can’t reclaim. It illustrated the fragility of life, reminding me that each day is precious and tomorrow is uncertain.
While the concept of traveling excites me, I grapple with fears—primarily stemming from COVID-19—and the curiosity about what lies beyond my New England surroundings. At this moment, I feel hesitant to board a plane, especially with my children. A family vacation requires their presence, but it also amplifies my worries about travel safety. Additionally, as a dark-skinned woman from America, I am acutely aware of the challenges I may face abroad.
During my college years, I traveled to Mexico for studies. While enjoying leisurely strolls with friends, I encountered taunts from locals, being called “bañarse,” a phrase urging me to wash off the darkness of my skin. This experience heightened my awareness of my identity in unfamiliar environments, making me more observant of the stares I receive. While it can be uncomfortable, I see it as an opportunity for connection.
Being an African American in the U.S. is challenging enough, and my past experiences make me wary of traveling internationally. I cannot escape my skin color or my nationality, but I can strive to help others understand the complexities of my identity. The pandemic also ignited my desire to explore my roots, leading me to purchase a DNA test from Ancestry.com to learn about my ancestors’ origins.
I consider myself a bit of a luxury traveler. I enjoy the comforts of running water, warm blankets, and hot coffee, and I appreciate amenities like hot tubs and pools. While road trips and camping have surged in popularity—offering Americans a chance to appreciate stunning landscapes—I yearn for more than what my backyard offers.
Since COVID-19 forced a shift to remote work, I’ve realized I can work from anywhere in the world. The idea of working from Mexico or Canada—a place I’ve only visited once—has become appealing. Despite my longing to travel, the fear of contracting COVID, along with concerns about how my race and nationality will be perceived, complicates my desire.
The pandemic has taught me the value of life and the significance of each moment—whether I’m at home or fulfilling my dream of shopping at an African market in Uganda. Perhaps it’s the stillness of my new remote lifestyle that has prompted these reflections, or the wish to inspire my children to face their fears while traveling. I know that our world needs us, especially as Americans and African Americans, to contribute positively to the larger narrative. With the new normal of the pandemic, I look forward to fewer crowds when I eventually decide to travel. I will navigate my fears alongside my dreams, no matter where my journey leads.
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In summary, the pandemic has amplified my desire to travel despite the fears that accompany it. As an introvert and a woman of color, I navigate the complexities of identity in a world that can be both beautiful and daunting. I hold onto the hope that one day, I will embark on adventures that not only fulfill my dreams but also inspire my children to embrace the world.
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