As the pandemic unfolded last March, my partner, Alex, transitioned to remote work while I had already been working from home. Suddenly, we found ourselves together all day, every day. Alex attempted to carve out a makeshift office space in our closet, but the kids constantly interrupted him with questions and requests. Eventually, he ended up working at the dining table, and our roles as parents became more pronounced than ever.
With the kids learning remotely and both of us juggling work from home, our parenting styles were put to the test. I was accustomed to managing the household during the day, while Alex would typically step in after work. We had a rhythm—until it all fell apart. The changes brought on by COVID-19 shifted our parenting dynamics significantly.
It often seems that parents have vastly different approaches to raising children, influenced by how we were raised ourselves. In our case, I tend to be stricter, while Alex embodies the fun-loving parent. He’ll readily drop everything to engage in a game of soccer or listen to our kids’ lengthy Halloween costume ideas.
As we settled into life during lockdown, our parenting differences became glaringly obvious. I would get frustrated at how easily Alex would get sidetracked by the kids’ demands, while he thought I could be more relaxed. I operate under a clear hierarchy, while Alex prefers compromise and discussion.
The pandemic blurred the lines between school, play, chores, and everything else. With us both managing work and family life simultaneously, it became challenging to establish boundaries. Co-parenting became a trial, especially as we confronted our contrasting styles.
Over the past year and a half—yes, it’s been a long road—we’ve had to adapt our parenting strategies. I’ve lost count of the family meetings we’ve held to address conflicts, whether it was over something small, like sharing a charger, or larger issues like honesty among siblings. There were moments when one of the kids would dramatically declare they wanted to run away.
In many ways, we’ve both had to learn to be more flexible. It was frustrating when the kids would leave dirty dishes everywhere or forget to put away their clean laundry. One child even insisted on calling for help instead of simply replacing the toilet paper. Such ongoing issues seemed trivial in the grand scheme but required careful navigation.
Being somewhat Type A, I could no longer tolerate the chaos of managing everything at home without structure. I created charts—lots of them. Each child received a daily task chart that included music practice, schoolwork, and chores. I also devised a meal schedule to prevent them from raiding the pantry constantly.
The kids didn’t take kindly to my attempts at establishing routine. They began to turn to Alex for extra snacks and assistance with school projects during his workday. He often caved, leaving me feeling overwhelmed. It was essential for them to have consistency and for us to be united as parents, so we didn’t end up being manipulated by our youngest.
Watching Alex patiently assist our daughter with her tangled earbuds during drum practice reminded me that while I excel at organizing, I needed to focus more on building relationships with our kids. Alex’s ability to prioritize connection over tasks is commendable. As a result, I’ve learned to slow down and spend quality one-on-one time with each child.
Our contrasting parenting styles have brought more balance to our family life, especially now that we’re well into the pandemic. Although three of our children have resumed in-person learning, we still work from home, which can be challenging.
The diverse ages of our four children add to the complexity. One child seeks fairness, but we’ve explained that different ages come with different privileges. Together, Alex and I have learned to support each other in decision-making, discussing any issues privately before addressing the kids as a united front.
Pandemic parenting has pushed us to collaborate more closely while also confronting long-standing differences. It’s not always smooth sailing; one child still forgets to restock the toilet paper, and arguments are a regular occurrence. This period has felt like an extensive parenting experiment—hopefully, we’re emerging as better parents because of it.
If you’re interested in more insights on parenting during these times, check out this other blog post. For those considering family planning options, Make A Mom is a reliable resource. Also, this article from Healthline provides excellent information on pregnancy and home insemination.
Summary
The pandemic has transformed parenting dynamics, highlighting differences in styles between parents. With both parents working from home while managing remote learning, they faced challenges in establishing routines and boundaries. Through trial and error, they learned to adapt, creating balance while prioritizing connection with their children amid chaos.
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