Last week, I received a voicemail from my youngest daughter’s principal. Generally, I recognize him as the individual who strives to keep parent pick-up from escalating into chaos. So, when I heard his voicemail mentioning an incident at school, I was taken aback. Although his tone didn’t convey an emergency, any call from a principal—regardless of age—can stir up anxiety. I promptly returned his call.
Fortunately, it was not a serious accident, nor was it related to masking or quarantine, as I had initially feared. Instead, my daughter’s principal informed me that she had reported to a playground teacher that three boys were pursuing her, attempting to corner her to kiss her. Rather than feeling anger, I was simply shocked. My first thought was especially with the ongoing Covid concerns, I think not.
Yes, Personal Space Must Be Respected
At six years old, it might seem trivial on the surface. After all, it’s just a game, right? Wrong. Chasing someone for the purpose of cornering them, invading their personal space, and kissing them is not a game. And contrary to popular belief, they are not too young to grasp this concept. There is absolutely nothing acceptable about violating someone else’s personal space, and thankfully, the principal recognized this. He assured me that a discussion was held with the entire class, as well as individually with the boys involved.
It’s crucial to acknowledge how well her principal handled this situation. If I had heard the phrase “boys will be boys,” I would have lost it. I’ve taught my daughters to safeguard their personal space and to respect the boundaries of others. Having spent a lifetime avoiding confrontation when others made me uncomfortable, I understand the personal ramifications of failing to establish boundaries. I am determined that my daughters will not face the same challenges.
Will this incident become a humorous tale to share at her wedding someday? Perhaps, but right now, I’m not ready to laugh. Many things have evolved since my childhood, but the outdated notion of “boys will be boys” should have been discarded long ago. Regardless of gender, we need to stop normalizing the invasion of others’ spaces as a childhood rite of passage. Just because kids are young doesn’t mean their rights to their own bodies don’t matter.
Let’s Make This a Reality, Not Just a Concept
Conversely, it’s equally important to teach our children to respect the personal space of others. This same daughter, who was chased for a kiss, has a loving nature. Every child she plays with instantly becomes her friend, and if you’re her friend, she’ll likely want to hug you. I’ve frequently reminded her that she must ask before hugging someone. Not everyone appreciates hugs, and especially in today’s Covid environment, it’s inappropriate to hug a stranger you just met at a sibling’s soccer game.
It may sound trivial that I insist my six-year-old seeks permission before hugging someone, but it’s never too early to instill the significance of consent and personal boundaries. She should definitely ask for permission rather than seek forgiveness after an awkward encounter. I hope these lessons will benefit her in the future, empowering her to set her own boundaries. This entire experience confirmed that these lessons are resonating with her.
She felt uneasy and didn’t want those boys to invade her personal space. Her principal made it abundantly clear that she did the right thing by speaking up to the teacher. That she did nothing wrong, and that no one has the right to touch her body. Such validation is crucial. Too often, situations like this are dismissed—not because they lack significance, but because schools and daycares often lack the resources to address seemingly minor issues. When a child is encouraged to voice their concerns, only to have them overlooked, it renders their feelings invalid. This is a pattern we see repeatedly with survivors of assault, harassment, and abuse.
While kids may be kids, that doesn’t mean they don’t deserve to have their boundaries respected. The sooner we help them comprehend this, the brighter our future will be. I am grateful to have my daughter’s principal as an ally.
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Summary
This article expresses gratitude to a school principal for addressing an incident involving a young girl being chased by boys on the playground, emphasizing the importance of respecting personal boundaries and consent in childhood interactions. The author reflects on how vital it is to teach children about personal space and the significance of speaking up when uncomfortable situations arise.
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