Twins Are Adorable, But They’re Actually A Ton of Work

When my partner, Jamie, was expecting our twins, we often encountered comments like, “I’ve always dreamed of having twins!” and “What a double blessing!” These remarks typically came from people without twins, many of whom had either never been parents or had completely forgotten the realities of raising children. The truth is, having two kids—twins or not—doesn’t equate to straightforward parenting.

Fortunately, we had friends who were honest about the challenges: Twins are tough. Just aim to survive that first year and keep your expectations low. Their advice was far more useful than the excitement over matching outfits, which we knew wasn’t our reality. We had already been parents to a toddler and weren’t falling for the cutesy twin photo ops. We embraced the hard truth: having twins is incredibly demanding. Is it worth it? Absolutely. Is it glamorous? Not in the least.

Preparing for the Arrival of Twins

Before Jamie was pregnant with twins, we were preparing to renovate our home for baby number two. But an ultrasound revealed we’d need space for two more little ones. Even before they arrived, our twins were shaking up our lives and complicating our plans. So, we sold our house and bought one just across the street, moving in on the day the twins returned from the hospital. Now, over eight years later, there are still unpacked boxes in the basement. We were simply too busy adjusting to life with twins to tackle anything beyond the essentials.

The Essentials of Twin Parenting

And those essentials? We needed two of everything. Cribs, car seats, bottles, diapers—basically, if one baby requires it, you’d better double it. While we had some leftover items from our daughter, who was a toddler when the twins arrived, we still had to start fresh for many things, especially clothing. Our twins were each under six pounds, so the outfits we had from our daughter, who was over eight pounds at birth, were useless for a few months. Thankfully, we received lots of hand-me-downs and didn’t mind what we got as long as it was functional and affordable. If the twins ended up in similar pajamas, it was usually by chance. Our goal was simply to keep them clean, not necessarily fashionable.

The Reality of Raising Twins

Getting twins ready and meeting their needs is like competing in the Olympics. If you’ve never had to change, bathe, buckle, or feed two babies simultaneously or in quick succession, I suggest giving it a try just to appreciate how much easier it is with one child. This isn’t to downplay the challenges of raising a singleton—it’s hard work too—but handling twins can plunge you into a depth of exhaustion you never knew existed.

When two children go through the same developmental milestones simultaneously, it’s common to feel numb. Take teething, for example. It wasn’t just the crying and sleepless nights; it was the runny noses, constant laundry, and clingy babies—all while running on empty. And when it comes to self-feeding, walking, or potty training, you find yourself utterly drained, both physically and mentally. There are definitely moments of joy while raising twins, and we captured plenty of their cuteness on camera, but those joyful moments often came with a sense of exhaustion.

Navigating Life with Twins

Jamie and I have been navigating the challenges of raising twins while also caring for their older sibling. They may not have had matching outfits or embodied the idealized vision of twin life, but they were happy, well-fed, and loved. We even managed to leave the house, which felt like orchestrating a three-ring circus.

As they’ve grown older, it has become a bit easier. Now that our twins are eight, they can get themselves ready, shower, and entertain themselves for hours with their imaginative projects. However, there are still two of them, which means double the paperwork from school, conflicting sports schedules due to their different teams, and seasonal gear that always seems to catch us off-guard. Instead of one child complaining about a jacket that doesn’t fit, we now face two. We navigate friendships and strive to provide both time with friends and space for individuality, though it’s not always pretty. Building their social-emotional skills often leads to hurt feelings.

But with their growth comes more chaos. My twins are best friends who feed off each other’s energy, which can sometimes feel like a whirlwind. They race through the house, creating mischief, and finally come to a halt at bedtime when they need to brush their teeth and settle down. Life with twins is not for the faint-hearted.

My twins may be loud and exhausting, and they certainly weren’t a “buy one, get one free” deal. However, despite the chaos, we find joy in our beautifully mismatched life together.

Resources for Parents

For more insights on parenting and home insemination, check out this helpful blog post. If you’re looking for resources on artificial insemination, Make a Mom is an authority on the topic. Also, don’t miss this excellent resource for pregnancy at March of Dimes.

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Summary:

Raising twins is undeniably adorable but comes with its own set of challenges. From the chaos of managing two infants to navigating their growing independence, parents must adapt to a unique and often exhausting lifestyle. While the experience is filled with joyful moments, it also requires a lot of hard work and resilience.