When I was 12, my mother embarked on her first job, answering phones at an engineering firm. I recall my father’s discontent; he was controlling and didn’t want her to have a life beyond him and the kids. I remember the day she received a promotion after a year of hard work, which ultimately led to her moving out.
Fast forward a decade, and she revealed her thoughts during that pivotal moment: “I didn’t want to be away from my kids, but you were old enough to be home alone, and I knew it was time to leave that marriage.” My mother had endured my father’s rules for years, and that job was part of her escape plan—aiming for a promotion to support herself. It dawned on her one summer evening as we enjoyed a beach sunset. “Your father was away on a men’s trip, and we brought fried chicken for dinner,” she explained. (My dad disliked the beach, but my mom adored it). “Watching you kids walk ahead, I felt so much happier. I wanted the freedom to live on my own terms.”
When my mother finally moved out, all she had was some secondhand furniture from her coworkers. The house was in my father’s name, and since she had only worked for a year, he deemed her unworthy of any proceeds from its sale. Her new apartment was tiny, and five of us squeezed into it for nearly a year while she saved to buy a small home. We saw little of my father, and my mother managed to raise four teenagers on her own while working full time. She figured it out.
Years later, when my husband and I decided to divorce, I hadn’t worked full time in over 13 years. I had no funds of my own and desperately wanted to keep the home we had built for our children. Sleepless nights were filled with thoughts of how I could make it work. I’d shop at the dollar store for groceries, sell clothes, maybe even start a side business. I could use my credit card for everything and reap cash back rewards.
There were moments I doubted my ability to manage everything. After being financially supported by my husband for so long, I wasn’t sure if I could open my own 401K, learn to invest, or be frugal enough to stay in a home I loved. But I figured it out.
My sister, after having three kids, decided to pursue a career as a dental hygienist. With her husband’s job keeping him busy, she had to attend a school an hour and a half away. Commuting four days a week for two years, she graduated and landed her dream job.
She sought help, made sacrifices, and ultimately figured it out.
What amazes me about mothers is our innate ability to nurture and our resilience. We give, we work hard, and we juggle many responsibilities. Yes, we experience breakdowns and are entitled to voice our frustrations over the mental load we carry. Yet, we consistently find ways to navigate challenges, often having to fight harder than men to achieve our goals. Add children into the equation, and our protective instincts kick into high gear—we will find a way to make it work.
We may not have a clear plan, but we will figure it out. We might feel like giving up, but we will carry on. We may stumble along the way, but we will keep going. Even when we hit rock bottom, we will find a way up. Once we realize what we’re capable of, there’s truly nothing we can’t handle. So if you’re facing something that feels overwhelming, remember: you are more capable and resourceful than you realize.
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Summary:
This article reflects on the strength and resilience of mothers when faced with daunting challenges. It tells the story of a mother who took a job to escape a controlling marriage and successfully raised her children alone. It emphasizes that mothers possess an innate ability to nurture and adapt, often overcoming obstacles with determination and resourcefulness. The narrative serves as an inspiring reminder of what moms can achieve, even in the face of adversity.
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