I’ve never been the overprotective mom worried about germs. My kids are familiar with the five-second rule, we don’t obsess over cleanliness, and I’ve never kept them in a bubble. I was the type of mom who encouraged exploration and viewed gross habits as “building their immune systems.” But that was before the pandemic hit.
The ongoing effects of COVID-19 have made me hyper-aware of everything my kids do. I find myself constantly reminding them to sneeze into their elbows, avoid touching anything that doesn’t belong to them, and, for goodness’ sake, don’t let anyone breathe on them! With my kids back in school, I can’t handle even the slightest hint of cold symptoms.
On September 13th, a million kids returned to NYC public schools, including my four-year-old starting preschool for the first time. My second grader had already been in school for nearly a month. While I appreciated the break from home, especially since my oldest loathed remote learning, I found myself grappling with a whole new level of anxiety. I was prepared for the usual back-to-school germs from my second grader but was blindsided by the sheer anxiety that every little sniffle brings.
Is this how life will be from now on?
I often envisioned what our mornings would be like with both older kids in school. I dreamt of quiet days and freedom (a dream thoroughly disrupted by baby number three). I never imagined that I would find myself panicking on the couch after drop-off, worrying whether I had given them their vitamins. Our mornings are a whirlwind: waking up, breakfast, VITAMINS, washing faces, brushing teeth, getting dressed, packing bags, filling water bottles, and ensuring they have their masks. Because heaven forbid someone comes home sneezing or feeling even a bit warm.
I’m constantly torn between wanting to keep my kids in a protective bubble for my own peace of mind and allowing them the social experiences they need. I can’t rely on my seven- and four-year-olds to remember to do the “right thing” all day. They are kids, excited to be around their peers again. Plus, being under 12, they can’t yet receive the COVID-19 vaccine. NYC mandates vaccinations for teachers, but let’s be realistic—this doesn’t guarantee that illness won’t spread. Kids will get sick.
Since schools reopened, pediatric COVID cases have surged. This revelation comes as no surprise to anyone aware of how germs spread. As a result, urgent care centers and pediatric offices are overwhelmed, constantly restocking COVID, RSV, and other rapid tests. It’s nearly impossible to find at-home rapid tests in pharmacies, and those aren’t sufficient for children showing symptoms to return to school. The likelihood of me having a panic attack in my own home has definitely increased.
I feel like I’m missing out on the pleasure of enjoying the quiet that comes with my kids being in school because I’m now hyper-focused on their every cough and sniffle. According to the CDC, fever and cough are the two primary symptoms of COVID. If you’ve been a mother of school-aged children for any length of time, you know that these symptoms are common, especially this time of year.
So, we’re left with the constant worry— is it just a cold, the flu, or could it be COVID? The only way to differentiate between a cold and COVID is through testing. But I have no desire to venture into places where germs are rampant. So here I am at home, praying they remember to keep their masks on and not share germs. Let them be kids, have fun, but please—stay healthy. My anxiety can’t take even the mildest of colds right now. If you’re feeling this way too, know you’re not alone!
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In summary, navigating the anxieties of parenting during a pandemic is a challenge. While I strive for my children’s independence and social growth, the fear of illness lurks at every corner, making it difficult to enjoy the quiet moments when they’re at school.
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