According to NPR, only 13% of mothers manage to exclusively breastfeed for six months, which is the recommended duration for their baby’s health. I consider myself fortunate; I’ve breastfed my two older children for over a year and a half each, and my youngest is currently four months old, still going strong. However, this journey has not been without its challenges. From cracked nipples to thrush and milk blebs, I’ve faced various hurdles, yet my determination has never wavered. While breastfeeding hasn’t always been easy, it has always been rewarding.
So please, for the love of all that’s holy, stop asking me when I plan to give my breastfed baby a bottle. I can’t fathom why some people feel the need to voice their opinions on this matter. Since I first took my daughter out in public, someone has asked, “Haven’t you started giving her a bottle yet?” Did I mention she’s only four months old?
I mean, did I forget my nipples at home? What could she possibly get from a bottle that she can’t get from me while I’m right here? No, I don’t feed her a bottle in my presence because it’s simply unnecessary. There are countless ways to bond with a baby that don’t involve bottle feeding, so please think of something else to discuss.
When I do leave her, she has taken a bottle without issue. However, introducing a breastfed baby to bottles is no simple feat. There’s the risk of nipple confusion, the need for paced bottle feeding, and the challenge of finding a bottle she won’t reject. We’re not just winging it over here! Honestly, I’m more focused on maintaining my own mental health than worrying about how the possibility of you seeing my nipples might affect you. I’ve got enough to learn about this new little human.
And let’s not even get started on the unique challenges faced by Black women when it comes to breastfeeding. According to the CDC, many Black mothers struggle to breastfeed due to returning to work sooner, receiving less breastfeeding information from healthcare providers, and lacking professional support. On top of that, we’re navigating a painful history that includes slavery and forced breastfeeding. So now you’re shaming me for wanting to nourish my own child? Really?
Moreover, many women of color are often the primary earners in their households and must return to work sooner due to inadequate maternity leave. This short time frame often prevents mothers from establishing breastfeeding successfully. I returned to work when my second son was just seven weeks old. Thankfully, I had the flexibility to pump, but often that meant doing so in my car since many workplaces lack proper facilities. Plus, as a Black mom of two working alongside other millennial women of color, I’ve encountered some outrageous comments about breastfeeding. One coworker once claimed that she wasn’t breastfed because it “felt gay.” Talk about the over-sexualization of Black bodies!
All of this is to say that we, as mothers, already face numerous obstacles. We’re constantly concerned about whether our babies are getting enough to eat and gaining weight properly. We obsess over what we eat and how it impacts our milk supply. Should we take fenugreek? How much Body Armor is safe to drink? Do I have mastitis or just a clogged duct?
Breastfeeding is challenging enough without unsolicited opinions from others, especially when those comments contradict my long-term goals.
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Summary
This article discusses the challenges of breastfeeding, particularly for mothers of color, and addresses societal pressures to introduce bottles to breastfed babies. The author emphasizes the importance of supporting breastfeeding journeys without unsolicited advice.
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