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We Don’t Need Constant Access to Our Children’s Educators
By Emma Thompson
Updated: Oct. 8, 2023
Originally Published: Oct. 8, 2023
Throughout my nine years as an educator, I encountered numerous students who were frustrated, and some even furious, when I didn’t respond to their late-night or weekend emails. They would send panicked messages about malfunctioning printers or computers erasing their assignments, often filled with all-caps and exclamation points to express their distress. When I didn’t respond—because I was sleeping or spending quality time with my family—they only grew more upset.
Now, as a parent of four, I truly appreciate when my children’s teachers don’t reply to emails after hours, on weekends, or during holidays. When I do reach out—often at those very times—I always make it clear that I don’t expect an immediate response. It’s commendable that they prioritize their time and have established boundaries around their work commitments.
Many parents express their irritation—often venting in online parent groups—when teachers don’t reply within minutes of receiving an email. My reaction? Good for the teacher! They are overworked and underappreciated. While they entered the teaching profession out of passion, it’s not their sole purpose in life. Some parents (and older students) feel entitled to the teacher’s undivided attention, which is quite unrealistic. The only way for a teacher to reclaim their time is to simply not respond.
In today’s world, it’s essential for educators—and all professionals—to protect their well-being. Establishing a healthy work-life balance and adhering to boundaries is crucial. Otherwise, it’s all too easy to get caught up in the cycle of constant communication, which often leads to missing out on family time, self-care, and other important responsibilities.
I consulted with Dr. Sarah Johnson, a psychologist and clinical assistant professor at a prestigious medical school, to gain insight into the importance of work-life boundaries. She emphasized that boundaries are vital for feeling fulfilled in various aspects of our lives and for preventing burnout. We must accept that we cannot do everything, and having boundaries helps us to be successful in our endeavors.
An added benefit of establishing clear boundaries is that we set an example for others—teachers demonstrating to their students and individuals showcasing to their families the value of personal time. I’ve noticed that when I establish boundaries in my life, my children observe and learn. For instance, I’ve taught them that when my bathroom door is closed, they should knock and wait for a response before entering. They, in turn, understand that they can also close their doors for some uninterrupted time.
What Do Boundaries Look Like in Practice?
While we recognize that boundaries are essential, what do they look like in practice? Dr. Sarah suggests several strategies. One is to turn off all electronics and refrain from checking emails after a specified time. I’ve seen writers include notices in their email signatures indicating they only respond during certain hours—an effective way to set expectations.
Another practical boundary is leaving work at a consistent time each day. There will always be more tasks to complete, so don’t let that pressure keep you working late. Take back your time!
Dr. Sarah also highlights the importance of learning to say “no.” She notes that “sometimes saying no means saying yes to yourself.” Too often, we feel the need to justify our “no” with lengthy explanations, as if we’re apologizing for having boundaries. Remember: “no” is a complete sentence.
Additionally, we should communicate our needs to those who need to hear them, especially supervisors. If you’re nearing burnout and have made all possible changes on your own, it’s time to explore alternative solutions.
Teachers often socialize with fellow educators, but Dr. Sarah advises stepping outside of that circle during leisure time. I’ve found that when I would hang out with teacher friends, we’d end up discussing work-related topics, which didn’t help alleviate stress. Expanding your social circle or simply enjoying time alone or with a partner can be incredibly beneficial.
Dr. Sarah empathizes with teachers, particularly given the challenges posed by the pandemic. Not only do they face their usual stresses, but they also contend with additional pressures brought on by COVID-19. It’s crucial now more than ever to establish healthy boundaries.
We should regularly ask ourselves, “What do I need right now?” and reflect on what is working and what isn’t. Engaging in self-reflection can significantly aid in maintaining a balanced life. Dr. Sarah believes that answering these questions can lead to small changes that foster a greater sense of well-being.
I find that my children’s teachers exemplify excellent boundary-setting in their email practices. They are teaching my kids that they have lives beyond the classroom that deserve respect. My children, in turn, are learning to honor their own needs and establish healthy boundaries. If we can encourage this understanding on a larger scale, we will all benefit.
This article was originally published on Oct. 8, 2023.
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Summary
In our fast-paced world, parents often feel entitled to immediate access to teachers, but it’s crucial to respect educators’ boundaries. Establishing a healthy work-life balance is essential for preventing burnout and enhancing overall well-being. By setting clear boundaries, we not only improve our own lives but also model healthy behaviors for our children.
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