When I was a preteen, my mother embarked on her first job, taking calls at an engineering firm. My father wasn’t thrilled about her working—he had a controlling nature and preferred her to focus solely on him and the family. I vividly remember the moment she received a promotion after a year, which eventually led her to leave.
Fast forward a decade, and during a conversation, she shared her thoughts from that pivotal period: “I didn’t want to be away from you kids, but you were old enough to be left alone, and I realized it was time to break free from that marriage.” For years, my mother had endured the constraints imposed by my father. She took that job with a clear objective: to earn a promotion and gain the financial independence necessary to live alone. The epiphany struck her one summer evening while we were at the beach watching the sunset.
“Your father was away for a men’s weekend, and we had fried chicken for dinner,” she recalled. (My dad despised the beach, while my mom adored it). “Watching you kids walk ahead of me in the sand, I felt a surge of happiness being just with you. I craved the freedom to live life on my own terms, free from control.”
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When my mother finally moved out, she had only the second-hand furniture her coworkers had given her. The house was in my father’s name, and since she had just been employed for a year, he deemed her unworthy of any funds from its sale. She secured a small one-bedroom apartment where all five of us squeezed in for nearly a year until she could save enough to purchase a modest home. After that, we barely saw our father, and my mother managed to raise four teenagers on her own while working full-time. She made it work.
When my husband and I decided to separate, I hadn’t held a full-time job in over 13 years. I had no money of my own and desperately wished to remain in our family home. Sleepless nights were spent pondering my options. I considered shopping at the dollar store for groceries, selling clothes, starting a side business, and relying on credit cards for cash-back rewards.
There were countless moments of uncertainty. After years of financial support from my husband, I was unsure how to open a 401K, invest wisely, or practice extreme frugality to stay in the home I cherished. But in the end, I figured it out.
My sister, after having three kids, decided to pursue a career as a dental hygienist. Her husband’s job kept him occupied, so to earn her degree, she had to attend a school an hour and a half away. She commuted four days a week for two years, graduated, and landed her dream job.
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She sought assistance, made sacrifices, and ultimately found a way to achieve her goals.
What astounds me about mothers is our innate ability to nurture. We give, work tirelessly, and juggle multiple responsibilities. Yes, we experience breakdowns, and we are entitled to voice our frustrations about the mental burdens we bear. Yet, we possess the uncanny ability to find solutions because we’ve always had to fight harder than men to attain what we desire.
Add children into the equation, and our protective instincts kick into overdrive. Rest assured, we will discover a way to overcome challenges. We may not have a solid plan, but we will find a solution. We might feel like giving up, but we will keep pushing through. We may stumble along the way, but we will find our footing. Even at our lowest, we will rise again.
Once we realize our capacity to overcome obstacles, there’s truly nothing that can be thrown our way that we cannot handle. So, if you’re facing what seems like an insurmountable challenge, take heart: you’re far more capable and resourceful than you think.
For more insights, check out this post on related topics. If you’re interested in learning more about home insemination, Make a Mom is a great resource, as is Johns Hopkins, which offers excellent information on pregnancy and home insemination.
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