As someone who has faced anxiety and panic disorders since childhood, and who has navigated through therapy since my teenage years, I genuinely understand the importance of mental health. I believe mental well-being is just as crucial as physical health, and I strive to instill this belief in my children.
In our household, we’ve always made it a point to validate emotions, even the tough ones. During their younger years, when my boys experienced meltdowns, I focused on helping them navigate their feelings while ensuring they knew their emotions were valid. There was never any dismissal like “stop crying” or punishment for their outbursts; rather, it was about creating space for them to express themselves.
Now that they are older, my role in supporting their mental health has evolved into being a safe haven for discussions about their feelings. Each of my boys confides in me about the challenges they face, sharing issues they might not reveal to anyone else. We often have dedicated times, particularly in the evenings, for them to open up about their concerns.
Taking care of their mental health also involves allowing for mental health days from school when necessary. These days aren’t about skipping school; instead, they represent a conscious choice to pause and recharge. Recognizing when things become overwhelming is empowering, and I believe these breaks have been essential for my son’s well-being, especially as he navigated middle school.
I don’t want to portray myself as a flawless parent in managing my children’s mental health; I acknowledge I’ve made many mistakes along the way. I know I can be short-tempered at times, and I suspect one or both of my boys may have inherited my anxiety issues. However, I maintain a fundamental belief that mental health is a priority in our family.
Recently, I came across some concerning information regarding men and mental health while researching the topic. The National Institute of Mental Health indicates that men are less likely to report mental health challenges compared to women, yet they are also less likely to seek help. This raises an important question: Are men genuinely experiencing fewer mental health issues, or are they simply less inclined to acknowledge them? My intuition tells me that men face similar struggles, but societal expectations discourage them from seeking help.
This cultural stigma is troubling, especially when considering that men are four times more likely to die by suicide than women, a statistic that deeply saddens me.
In light of this, I recently faced a significant challenge when my younger son struggled with his mental health after returning to school following a year of remote learning. He faced intense meltdowns and expressed feelings of worthlessness. After consulting with his school’s psychologist and discussing it with my husband, we decided to pursue therapy for him. Initially, I worried he might feel uncomfortable with the idea, but he embraced it. To him, having another safe person to talk to was a welcome opportunity.
While my son continues to grapple with these difficult emotions, the notion of therapy resonated with him, and he viewed it as a normal step for a child facing challenges. This realization filled me with hope.
I understand that I cannot raise boys who will never face mental health challenges. However, I can instill in them the understanding that seeking help is normal and healthy. This isn’t just a concern for boys; all children must learn the importance of mental health. Yet, those of us raising boys have a unique responsibility to guide them against societal pressures that discourage emotional expression.
Together, we can nurture the next generation of boys who understand that discussing emotions and valuing mental health is not a sign of weakness but a profound strength.
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Summary:
A mother emphasizes the importance of prioritizing her sons’ mental health, highlighting the challenges boys face in expressing their emotions. By validating feelings and allowing mental health days, she aims to create an environment where her children feel safe discussing their struggles. Understanding societal pressures on boys regarding mental health, she is determined to raise them to view seeking help as a sign of strength, not weakness.
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