Welcome to our advice column, where we tackle your questions about life, relationships, and everything in between. This week, we’re addressing a common concern: what to do when your partner seems more engaged with video games than family life.
Dear Home Insemination Kit,
My partner is completely absorbed in video games. With a headset, a fancy gaming chair, and two monitors, he’s turned our guest room into a gaming hub, and he’s in there all the time. After work, he joins us for dinner and then retreats back to the den, leaving me and the kids to fend for ourselves. When I bring up his lack of involvement in household chores and parenting, he deflects responsibility by claiming, “You didn’t say anything, so I thought everything was fine.” On weekends, he barely lifts a finger, despite having the time to help with family activities, chores, or errands. Our eldest child often remarks that Daddy “loves video games more than me.” I’m at a loss for how to reach him!
Response
Wow, that sounds really frustrating! First things first, your partner seems to be employing a frustrating tactic known as “weaponizing incompetence.” You shouldn’t have to manage every aspect of your home and family life alone. Remember, you already have kids; your partner should be stepping up, not stepping back. It’s crucial to address this behavior when it arises and continue to advocate for a more balanced partnership. If he doesn’t start to change his ways, it might be worth suggesting counseling—individually first, then as a couple.
Now, let’s discuss some practical options. Instead of going cold turkey on gaming, consider introducing games that the entire family can enjoy together. A Nintendo Switch, for instance, offers a variety of multiplayer games that can include your kids. This way, your partner can still indulge in gaming while spending quality time with the family.
This situation cannot persist—it affects you and the children. Your partner needs to raise his standards to match yours, and that needs to happen soon. I hope this helps, and please keep me updated on your situation!
For more insights, check out this blog post, which discusses similar issues: this one. Also, consider resources like Make A Mom for valuable information. For further details about pregnancy and related topics, visit the CDC.
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- How to deal with a gaming partner
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Summary:
This column addresses a reader’s concern about a partner excessively focused on gaming, leading to neglect of family responsibilities. The advice encourages direct communication about the issue and suggests finding family-inclusive gaming options. It emphasizes the need for a balanced partnership and offers resources for further information.
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